| A psychologist in India recently asked me to write | | | | control. The way in which you experience this is that |
| about the following - How can a woman, one without | | | | his emotional assault will be enhanced in direct |
| access to professional help, take steps towards | | | | proportion to his vulnerability. |
| freeing herself from an emotionally abusive | | | | So, you must see that the act of being emotionally |
| relationship? | | | | abusive is his way of reconciling his own perceived |
| As I think about this question, I realize that this was | | | | impotence. It is not an expression of his power; |
| the inspiration for my writing in the first place. I | | | | rather, it is an expression of his own personal |
| wanted to reach battered women who requested, | | | | vulnerability. |
| but could not afford, my professional services. | | | | 3) Find the YOU behind the assault. |
| In my writings over the last three years, I have | | | | This key is ultimately what gives you the strength to |
| focused on the psychology of relationship violence. | | | | not just merely survive, but to thrive in the face of |
| There are a number of important learning steps to | | | | emotional abuse. And ultimately, it is what allows you |
| freeing yourself from emotional abuse... | | | | to break free from an emotionally abusive |
| 1) Recognize that verbal, psychological and emotional | | | | relationship. |
| abuse are not about you. | | | | When you know the YOU within yourself, you refuse |
| The cruel words that your abusive partner freely | | | | to be defined by your partner's emotional assaults. |
| flings at you and the hurtful emotional manipulations | | | | You draw an enduring strength from this knowing |
| that he plays on you say more about him than they | | | | that serves to support your higher good. |
| say about you. | | | | In my own life, the practice of meditation allowed me |
| In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the specifics are | | | | to cultivate an alliance with the essence uniting all of |
| merely the convenient bullets used effortlessly | | | | us. And from here, I was no longer entrapped by |
| because of their convenience. For example, if he | | | | intimate partner abuse. |
| picks on you because of your weight or puts you | | | | Breaking Free or Overcoming Emotional Abuse |
| down over your intellect, recognize that he grabs for | | | | Now for some women, the ultimate breaking free |
| what's in his reach. | | | | may entail leaving the relationship and seeking refuge |
| He may even batterer you with an innermost | | | | outside of the home shared with their abusive |
| vulnerability that you intimately shared with him on an | | | | partner. And for others, it may involve inspiring their |
| earlier occasion. So, while the words and abusive | | | | partner's participation in an appropriate domestic |
| conduct may be relevant to your life or your | | | | abuse intervention program. This is most likely to |
| experience, be mindful that they are simply used as | | | | happen as a result of the emotional abuse victim |
| the darts to throw because they are conveniently | | | | engaging in her own psychotherapeutic process. |
| within his reach. | | | | Be mindful that you—and only you—can know |
| 2) See the battering assaults for what they are. | | | | the right path for yourself. There are no right and |
| Batterers strike for one reason and one reason alone. | | | | wrong answers when it comes to domestic abuse. |
| They seek to transform their own vulnerability into | | | | There are only decisions that support your safety |
| invincibility relative to you. | | | | and the realization of your highest good. |
| Battering, whether emotional abuse, verbal abuse or | | | | If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and |
| physical abuse, is an attempt to create or maintain | | | | lack any financial resources for professional help, read |
| unequal distribution of power in an intimate | | | | from the Internet and from your local library as much |
| relationship. It is a strategy to consciously, and often | | | | as you can about the dynamics of abusive |
| unconsciously, exert control. | | | | relationships. And in your moment of emergency, |
| You probably know that abuse is fundamentally | | | | reach out to your local community charity agencies |
| about control. And when an abuser feels he's losing | | | | that support battered women. |
| his grip, violence will escalate so as to re-engage | | | | |