| Domestic violence is recognized as a "condition" that | | | | her partner has bleeding ulcers. |
| exists within an intimate relationship. But its source is | | | | Her efforts to find the "right" psychological care for |
| intra-psychic, meaning arising out of an | | | | him are pure, and his mind is open to trying the |
| individual-namely, the batterer. Most people will | | | | counseling she has found for him. The question is, will |
| acknowledge this as true. | | | | it work? |
| I often hear domestic violence survivors tell me that | | | | The only problem with this picture is that the |
| they want to help their partners once they learn of | | | | batterer ends up in general psychological care. He is |
| the intra-psychic issues underlying their partner's | | | | given psychotherapy to help him unravel the past and |
| inappropriate abusive aggression. The question is, | | | | better appreciate its relevance to what's present in |
| how? | | | | his current intimate relationship. |
| Abuser as Victim | | | | While the insight and newly gained perspective are all |
| Months and, in some cases, years may have gone by | | | | well and good, in and of itself, it doesn't stop the |
| wherein the survivor struggles with staying in the | | | | battering behavior. It doesn't arrest the abusive |
| abusive relationship or merely leaving it. Then in a | | | | thinking and actions. It doesn't "fix" the abuse |
| fragile moment, typically following a heated violent | | | | problem. |
| altercation, the perpetrator may share his childhood | | | | Psychotherapy Versus Domestic Violence Treatment |
| memories of being abused, beaten and/or tormented | | | | An intervention that specifically focuses on changing |
| in some fashion. | | | | the abusive thinking and behavior would, on the other |
| Empathy pours out of his partner as she goes from | | | | hand, inspire the result these couples seek. And sadly, |
| his victim to his caretaker. She realizes that he was | | | | they don't know that they are NOT getting the |
| once where she is now. She sees the "little battered | | | | appropriate intervention until it is too late. |
| boy" inside and she wants to help him. | | | | We frequently see couples in abusive relationships |
| Suddenly what was happening to her is happening to | | | | spending their earnest effort on psychotherapy to fix |
| "us" because of what has happened to him. She | | | | the batterer or fix their marriage, and they end up |
| recognizes that some psychological "fix" is in order | | | | carrying the same patterns of interaction throughout |
| and she seeks to secure it for her partner for the | | | | and after the psychotherapy. |
| sake of their relationship. | | | | If these couples would instead bring the abuse |
| Victim-Batterer Psychological Fix | | | | problem to an authentic abuse specialist (not one |
| Having identified their abuse problem as stemming | | | | that just says they are an abuse specialist), then the |
| from his past and lingering within him, she seeks to | | | | outcome could look much different. The treatment |
| find a mental health intervention to help him. In her | | | | outcome could be the interactional behavior change |
| mind, it's no different than looking for a GI specialist if | | | | that they desire. |