| Have you ever wondered why women suffering | | | | 4. I was afraid of the unknown - my self esteem |
| from verbal or physical abuse stay with their abusive | | | | was so low that I really wasn't sure I would be up to |
| partners? | | | | surviving on my own (silly, I know!). |
| I can't speak for all women who put up with such | | | | 5. I didn't think I would cope as a single mother - |
| treatment, but I can speak from my own experience | | | | around 6 and a bit years into my relationship with this |
| and it's not as simple as just leaving. | | | | man, I gave birth to my daughter. I never stopped |
| I was verbally and emotionally abused for around 9 | | | | to think how many other, less capable women there |
| years by my former husband. It wasn't constant, but | | | | were out there who were doing just fine. |
| it was enough to push my self esteem to such a low | | | | There were plenty of other "excuses", but as you |
| level that many times I wondered if I would be | | | | can see, the reasons above were either not justified |
| better off dead. What a horrible way to live! | | | | or they were just plain lame. |
| So why did I stay? | | | | Looking back I know these excuses were lame but |
| There were a number of reasons (and yes, if you | | | | at the time, they were very valid and a strong |
| may question my intelligence here!) which I will cover | | | | reason to stay. In fact, the thought of leaving scared |
| now: | | | | the life out of me! So that's why I stayed for so |
| 1. I felt I had nowhere to go (despite the fact that | | | | many years. |
| my parents lived nearby and would have been there | | | | I used to wonder if I was being silly when upset |
| for me no matter what). | | | | about the way my husband spoke to me and how |
| 2. I didn't want to admit I had "failed" to myself or | | | | he treated me. He didn't hit me, so what was I so |
| anyone else - pride was a huge factor here. I didn't | | | | upset about? It took a long time for me to realise |
| want to air my dirty laundry because then the world | | | | that what he was doing was in some ways worse |
| would know I had failed. I didn't want to have to deal | | | | that being physically abused, because he left me with |
| with that. | | | | no "tangible" reason to leave. |
| 3. Financial reasons - if I left, then there would be a | | | | So before you start to wonder why women put up |
| huge financial mess to clean up - my husband wasn't | | | | with terrible treatment, give a thought to the |
| very good with money. In fact, on many occasions I | | | | reasons why they do so. She probably doesn't |
| fought off calls from debt collectors demanding | | | | believe in her abilities and is afraid of the unknown. |
| payment because yet again he had spent money we | | | | Her self esteem is very likely at rock-bottom too. |
| didn't have. I was worried that he would stop making | | | | That's the stuff that needs to be worked out before |
| the house payments and then I would be up for a | | | | she will finally do something positive for herself and |
| huge debt. | | | | possibly leave. |