| sume that a problem affecting two people in a | | | | it does not?and cannot?end the domestic abuse. To |
| relationship is material for marital or couples therapy. | | | | the contrary, it exacerbates battering: emotional |
| However, when the problem is intimate partner | | | | abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse. Some |
| violence, this is absolutely not so! | | | | clinicians view this method of treatment in domestic |
| I longed for my children's father, my ex-husband, to | | | | violence cases not only as ineffective in stopping |
| stop his violent outbursts toward our family. The | | | | domestic abuse, but also as dangerous for the |
| psychologist/doctor/family peacemaker in me said, | | | | victimized partner. That was certainly my experience. |
| “We just need to find the 'right' person or | | | | The altercations increased in frequency and in |
| method to help fix this problem,” as though | | | | intensity?from verbal licks and emotional assaults to |
| he had some physical aliment. This may sound familiar | | | | bruises, welts, fists and belts. |
| to those of you who have been there. Altercation | | | | As a domestic violence survivor, my hope is that you |
| after altercation drove me to desperately seek a | | | | seek appropriate intervention if intimate partner |
| referral from my pediatrician and from my | | | | violence presents in your relationship. Many people, |
| obstetrician. | | | | both healthcare and non-healthcare professionals, are |
| It was suggested that we see an “abuse | | | | unaware of the appropriate intervention for domestic |
| therapist,” who was actually a marriage and | | | | abuse. |
| family therapist. My professional background was in | | | | And even more alarming: few healthcare providers |
| bio-behavioral medicine, so I was in foreign territory | | | | have a systematic method for assessing partner |
| and eventually found out we were in the wrong | | | | spousal abuse (intimate partner violence). Without |
| therapy for the outcome I desired. | | | | proper assessment, one could be treating your |
| Marital therapy, couples therapy and family therapy | | | | problem in the dark. |
| are improper treatment scenarios to effect | | | | If you are indeed dealing with intimate partner |
| therapeutic change for domestic abuse. The problem | | | | violence, look to find a domestic abuse victim |
| is that these interventions are based on a family | | | | advocacy program and a batterer's intervention |
| systems perspective in which the goal of the | | | | program. These approaches treat battering similarly |
| treatment is to maintain the homeostasis of the | | | | to the way addiction interventions treat substance |
| system. | | | | abuse: that is, as the responsibility of the abuser. Until |
| Working from a systems approach, the therapist | | | | an intimate partner abuser is held accountable, |
| seeks to distribute responsibility for the pathology | | | | domestic abuse continues over time, and is passed |
| across the system. However, spreading the | | | | down throughout generations. |
| responsibility for battering in relationships equally to all | | | | If your are not sure if your relationship abuse |
| parties in the relationship reinforces the abuse | | | | problems are actually that characteristic of intimate |
| dynamic. It explicitly and/or implicitly blames the victim | | | | partner violence, then first look to determine if the |
| for the perpetrator's behavior, and fails to promote | | | | abuse in your relationship fulfills the criteria for |
| personal accountability for the battering behavior by | | | | intimate partner violence. This way you will know |
| the abusive partner. | | | | what course of intervention to pursue in order to |
| While this may keep the couple and family together, | | | | provide you with your desired outcome. |