| When you're fighting a restraining order that's been | | | | details of witnesses too. This way, you'll have factual |
| filed against you as part of a divorce custody battle, | | | | data with which to defend your name if she |
| the last thing you might think could happen is that | | | | continues to allege abuse or reports you for a |
| the plaintiff (your ex) harasses YOU in return. You | | | | violation. One small tip is to keep the journal factual, |
| might not even be able to come up with a reason | | | | though - it could be used as evidence by her legal |
| why your ex would contact you if she's gone to the | | | | team if the journal contents are the target of a |
| effort to get a lawyer and attend a court hearing. | | | | subpoena. |
| But make no mistake: because of the increasing | | | | 2. Know the restraining order's exact restrictions. |
| number of cases where a father is fighting a | | | | Paperwork will detail the standard restrictions which |
| restraining order as part of manipulative "divorce | | | | apply in your state when you are served the |
| tactics", there is no end to the legal strategies which | | | | restraining order. If something isn't clear, you need to |
| can be employed by an ex determined to make your | | | | ask the server (usually a police officer or local county |
| life hell. | | | | sheriff) for clarification. If they don't know something, |
| This article aims to briefly explain why these | | | | or are unhelpful, contact the filing court directly - |
| strategies are used, and provides some defense | | | | they'll be used to dealing with queries like yours. |
| moves which you can use to counter the legal | | | | For example, did you know that when you are |
| assault whilst fighting a restraining order. | | | | served a restraining order, your gun access rights are |
| First of all, when your ex files a restraining order and | | | | withdrawn? The servers will confiscate any weapons |
| the court grants it against you, in 99% of cases the | | | | or licenses from your home. But, even more than |
| father is totally unprepared. Legally, the first you are | | | | that - you are not allowed to be near firearms for |
| informed about the case is when you are served | | | | the duration of the order. If you go drinking at a |
| papers informing you of its terms - this is after an | | | | buddy's house and he has a gun collection, your ex |
| "ex parte" hearing has taken place which you don't | | | | can have you arrested for violating a restraining order |
| need to attend or be told about. You will, however, | | | | restriction just because you were in the same house |
| be given a date to attend a second court hearing so | | | | as the guns. |
| you can argue the allegations against you (and, if you | | | | 3. Stick by the restraining order rules at all times. |
| convince the judge that the restraining order | | | | As harsh as some of the restrictions may be, the |
| complaint is phony, you may stop it becoming a | | | | only way to win your custody battle is to play the |
| permanent one). | | | | legal game. Stay away from her, don't call or send |
| As far as your ex is concerned, the benefits of this | | | | anything in the post. If you're fighting a restraining |
| strategy start there - she will usually be granted | | | | order and you ex violates it herself, it doesn't entitle |
| increased maintenance payments in the short term, | | | | you to break any of its terms in the eyes of the law. |
| be given full child custody, and if you are in a handful | | | | I'll give you an example of what I mean by this: |
| of professions she may end up getting you fired | | | | You're in the local supermarket when you bump into |
| (police officers, security personnel, and hazardous | | | | your ex. She walks over to you and starts shouting |
| material truckers are all unable to perform their daily | | | | abuse. She blocks the exit to the store by standing in |
| duties since one of the restrictions of the order is | | | | your way. |
| that you're not near harmful materials). | | | | According to a restraining order's restrictions, what |
| Despite the power that this temporary restraining | | | | you need to do in that situation is to leave the store |
| order has over your life, there are ways in which you | | | | when you first see her - immediately. But if she |
| can help your own defense even if she continues to | | | | causes a violation in the order terms, and you can |
| play hardball by contacting YOU. I'll be honest - to win | | | | prove you've done everything within your power to |
| a custody battle whilst fighting a restraining order | | | | comply with the rules, the court will usually listen to |
| takes a lot of time and patience. If you choose to | | | | your side of things. This is why it's important to get |
| employ a family lawyer, it will cost a lot of money. | | | | the names of witnesses, the exact time and date to |
| But there is basic defense mechanisms which fathers | | | | retrieve CCTV footage, and so on. |
| fail to stick to, needlessly endangering their custody | | | | One last tip is to remember that your own personal |
| case. I've some advice out below which sums up the | | | | rights aren't voided by fighting a restraining order. If |
| important elements. | | | | in the above example there was enough justification |
| 1. Keep a journal. | | | | to say you felt threatened, you should call the police |
| You should be noting down every time she contacts | | | | immediately and explain what's happened. Whilst your |
| you whilst the restrictions of the restraining order are | | | | ex does have control over your life right now, she |
| active. Dates, times, locations. Make sure you include | | | | can't take away your basic rights. |