| We know that domestic abuse survivors endure the | | | | require that you honor your longings and enjoy the |
| tremendous pressure of their controlling partners. And | | | | fact that you are entitled to have your needs met. |
| they become accustomed to manipulation as a | | | | 3) Be willing to have, and not have, your needs met |
| means to fulfill one's personal needs. | | | | and honor the boundaries of others as you would |
| It's no wonder that manipulation becomes a method | | | | want them to honor yours. This is essential for your |
| of choice when it comes to meeting their own | | | | long-standing psychosocial health and well-being. |
| individual needs. But how satisfying will this be in the | | | | Recovering after an abusive relationship is more than |
| long-run? | | | | removing the clutter of your battering partner. It also |
| Here are some guidelines for you to more effectively | | | | involves inner work that supports your personal |
| meet your personal needs in your relationships. | | | | self-sufficiency, and growing trust of and respect for |
| 1) Clarify for yourself what you need for yourself | | | | others. |
| and from others before asking. This will require that | | | | If you are a domestic abuse survivor, be mindful of |
| you know yourself from the inside out. And seek to | | | | the core issues of abusive relationships that you long |
| secure what fulfills you over what you think others | | | | to shed. And find ways within yourself to invite |
| believe ought fulfill you. | | | | interpersonal honoring, respect and honesty. As you |
| 2) Ask for what you want openly and directly, | | | | do, it will be yours. |
| without justifications or misrepresentations. This will | | | | |