| If you are dealing with a VERBALLY abuse spouse | | | | When you take the first step to cure a problem the |
| you need to memorize the words of the First Lady | | | | fear usually begins to dissipate. This is true of diving |
| Eleanor Roosevelt, ""No one can make you feel | | | | off a high diving board, public speaking, and telling |
| inferior without your permission." Wow! Such power | | | | your controlling spouse, "No". Don't dwell too long on |
| in these words. As long as you don't let those | | | | what you want to do, just do it. Like the bully |
| caustic, nasty, and poisonous remarks get into your | | | | syndrome, people only bully when you don't stand up |
| head there is NOTHING that your spouse can do to | | | | for yourself. If you show that you will not be bullied, |
| you. | | | | they will back down. |
| The problem is that they are experts on just this; | | | | 3. Remember that another person is exactly what |
| how to have THEIR words penetrate into YOUR | | | | you are, a person. When I was growing up my |
| mind and control you. More often than not, they | | | | mother loved listening to a radio talk back show by |
| repeat these same degrading things to you over and | | | | someone called Jack Comley (it was too boring for |
| over. Even if your self esteem is strong, these words | | | | us kids to listen to him). He had a wicked sharp |
| can creep in and slowly tear you down if you allow | | | | tongue. There is one thing I remember my mother |
| them to. | | | | told me that he said . He was asked how he could |
| In this article I'm going to show 3 innovative things | | | | speak so sharply to other people. He said he used to |
| that you can easily do in order to build a protective | | | | also have problems with this but then he would just |
| and non-penetrating wall around yourself so that their | | | | picture the other person standing in front of him in |
| words won't hurt you. | | | | his under wear and all his fear disappeared into thin |
| 1. Sit up front at meetings and speak up. It's very | | | | air. |
| interesting to realize that our inner feelings are | | | | This is a common practice used by many today. You |
| directly effected by our physical actions. When we | | | | need to believe that you have something worth |
| act like we have self confidence, the self confidence | | | | listening to, and just remember that no one is better |
| follows. When we act like a wimp or pushover, we | | | | than you. We are all people and we all have things |
| are pushed over. | | | | we are not strong with. By acting, and just doing |
| Therefore, when you go to a meeting don't sit in the | | | | something regardless of fear, you will soon find the |
| back of the room. Make a conscious effort to sit in | | | | fear has disappeared and you will be stronger in spirit |
| one of the front rows. It will be hard in the beginning | | | | for doing it. |
| but little by little you will convince yourself that YOU | | | | If you have a controlling spouse the best way to |
| are worth something. When you feel that way your | | | | deal with it is to build yourself up. Wherever you can, |
| spouse will pick up on it and the difference will be | | | | act as if you already have self confidence, don't just |
| tremendous. | | | | think about what to do but actually commit to doing |
| You need to remember that your spouse only talks | | | | something. Always remember that they aren't much |
| to you the way he does to try to make himself feel | | | | different than you. |
| better. He/She has a low self esteem problem | | | | After doing these 3 simple things you will build a |
| himself that he is not willing to deal with. It is easier | | | | protective force field around yourself so their words |
| to bring someone else down than to work on fixing | | | | will have no effect on you. They can only have |
| yourself. | | | | power if you give it to them. By building yourself up |
| 2.Action cures fear. The fear of something usually is | | | | and staying strong, you are keeping that power |
| there only until you begin to do something about it. | | | | within yourself. |