| I get sick to my stomach whenever I see news | | | | Leaving will be the most difficult thing you ever do. |
| about someone suffering from verbal abuse and then | | | | Leaving my wife was the hardest single thing I have |
| that person staying with someone else and then the | | | | ever done. It was a disaster. It was painful, messy, |
| tragedy unfolding. | | | | expensive, traumatic and terrible. My wife made |
| It does not have to be that way. | | | | getting a divorce extremely difficult and expensive. |
| Love does not have to hurt. | | | | But it was also the best thing I have ever done. |
| Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship | | | | I was very afraid. My fears were real. |
| and hearing any verbal abuse. | | | | We are all constantly bombarded with the opposite |
| Getting out, leaving is always an option. In my view, | | | | view. We are told that we do not matter. That |
| the best option. | | | | others matter more. |
| Why are we fascinated by celebrities who leave and | | | | We are continually preached at to think of others |
| get divorces often? Because those celebrities have | | | | first, to sacrifice, to do what is best for others, to |
| the means to live on their own and they are in an | | | | stay with your spouse no matter what, that is is o.k. |
| environment that puts the value on the individual. | | | | for your spouse to be mean to you, to call you |
| They think that they are important. They do not | | | | names, to belittle you. We see this all the time on |
| tolerate disrespect. They value themselves. They | | | | TV. The wife is always demeaning the husband. Of |
| know that their happiness is the most important thing | | | | course on TV it is done in a funny way to get some |
| to them. They are self aware. | | | | laughs and at the end of the show it is all good. The |
| But the means to leave is what most people do not | | | | wife is nice and everyone is happy. |
| have. That is why it is extremely difficult for the | | | | But that is just TV. The ones making the TV shows |
| average person to just leave. Lack of money. | | | | run out of ideas so they just slip back to the old |
| Plus all the powers in control fill your head with | | | | hen-pecked husband jokes. The dumb man who |
| garbage about how it is so important to stay | | | | needs his smart wife to keep him in his place. The |
| together no matter what. That verbal abuse is not | | | | verbal abuse on TV is carefully scripted to not seem |
| that bad. Sticks and stones type garbage. | | | | that bad and the husband seems to need it. |
| The right idea is to simply leave. | | | | In real life, when your wife takes it upon herself to |
| You do matter. Your happiness is the most important | | | | belittle you, to humiliate you, to call you derogatory |
| thing to you. You should never be abused in any | | | | names, it is not funny. There is no laugh track. No |
| way. You need to leave your abuser. | | | | one is laughing now. |
| Once you get your head around the idea that it is | | | | No one was laughing when I was thinking of hanging |
| o.k. to leave, that it is an option, then you can start | | | | myself. |
| to plan the practical side of doing it. | | | | No one was laughing when she lectured me for hours |
| If you do not think it is an option there will be no | | | | on all my faults. |
| point in planning to leave. You have to believe that | | | | No one was laughing when she was screaming |
| you can, that you will. | | | | profanities at me. |
| Practical planning steps are important but first you | | | | You have to look at the verbal abuse that is |
| have to believe that you matter. | | | | happening to you as the reality you are living in right |
| You have to visualize being alone. | | | | now. And realize that you can change that reality by |
| You have to change your beliefs of thinking that you | | | | leaving. That leaving will make your life better. |
| do not matter to ones that you do matter. | | | | |