Toxic Marriages

A happy, fulfilling, romantic relationship is somethingachieving the next high or drink. The influence of an
many people desire and attempt to bring into theiraddictive use of substances makes it very difficult
lives. A marriage in particular is an importantfor your partner to be fully present and giving in the
relationship most people work very hard to protect.relationship. It can become a trap to be caught up in
If both partners are committed, put forth effort, andmanaging the various crises that come about in your
are reasonably balanced emotionally, a successfulpartner's life as a result of the substance abuse, and
union is definitely within reach. However, there areneglecting your own needs. Your husband or partner's
certain dynamics that might exist within a marriage orpotential financial and/or legal problems resulting from
other intimate relationship that make a healthy unionthe addiction can cause you serious issues as well.
very unlikely. When certain behavior patterns causeYour safety may even be put at risk if, for example,
destruction and emotional pain for one or bothyou get in a car with your partner after he or she
partners, the relationship becomes a toxic one. Herehas been drinking.
are 4 signs that your relationship is toxic:3. There is repeated adultery or affairs in your
1. There is abuse in the relationship. This may bemarriage or relationship. An affair can become a
physical or emotional abuse, and both are verycatalyst for better communication and accountability
damaging. If you are living with or fear the threat ofbetween partners and strengthen the relationship,
physical abuse, this is a very dangerous situation.provided both partners recommit and do not continue
Physical abuse often escalates over time, and it isthe adulterous behaviors. However, if the betrayals
important to contact a domestic violence shelter orcontinue, there is no real foundation to rebuild trust
counselor specializing in this particular issue for specificor intimacy. In addition to the emotional pain of the
help. There is an increased risk for harm at the timebetrayed spouse, there is the risk of physical illness
of leaving a physically abusive relationship, and it isand even death if you are intimate with someone
important to create an appropriate safety plan forwho is not monogamous with you.
getting out. Emotional abuse is a pattern of criticism,4. Your husband or partner has a personality disorder,
punishment, and controlling behavior that causeslike narcissism or sociopathy. These disorders have a
emotional damage to the victim, and increasesspecific set of symptoms, but the results can be
feelings of inferiority, incompetence, and is crazysimilar for the non-disordered partner ? bewilderment,
making for the victimized partner.confusion, and hurt over the destructive actions of
2. Your husband or partner is actively abusing drugsyour partner. Unfortunately, there is little in the way
and alcohol, and refuses to accept help or treatmentof effective treatments for these disorders at this
for the problem. This is a very difficult situation, buttime, and the disordered partner rarely acknowledges
the truth is that your partner is putting you and yourthat there is a problem to begin with. This makes the
needs in the relationship as a lower priority thanprospect for change very small.