The Kiss of Death

Last night with a group of court mandated domesticwith organizations: creating corporate cultures where
violence offenders we were talking about whethervictims and offenders both can go to management
the men would continue to talk to others about whator Human Resources and have an open honest
they had learned or changed in their lives as a resultdiscussion about partner violence and the affects of
of attending group for 26 weeks. Many of them feltdomestic abuse, and that management and HR will
they could talk to friends and family about what hadoffer a listening ear and provide referrals without
happened and what they learned, includingbreaking confidentiality and any threat of job
empathetic listening, making better choices, leavingrepercussions. As it turned out, though, the discussion
during the heat of an argument and more. But wherechanged to something else before I had the chance.
the discussion came to a grinding halt was when ITalking about the issue openly is a monumental step
asked if any of them could talk to their employers.in domestic violence prevention. But some time ago I
"It'd be the kiss of death" one man said. Most all ofposted a clip of me talking to managers about that
the others agreed. They're convinced that telling anvery thing on YouTube and my web site. So here it
employer that they'd been arrested, or charged, withis again. As a manager, I strongly suggest that
a domestic violence offense it would put an end tolearning about domestic violence laws, statistics of
their career.domestic violence, and the dynamics of the issue be
I didn't get into a debate with them about howpart of your organization's strategic leadership and
difficult it is for women too. That wouldn't have beencompetencies. No one should feel talking to their
the point. I did wish I'd had an opportunity to tellemployer would be "the kiss of death" to their
them about that being a main component in my workcareer.