| "I need to tell you that you're not okay, because | | | | having a moment of not feeling okay either in |
| deep inside I'm not okay." This understanding is | | | | themselves and/or relative to you. Instead of |
| essential to healing verbal emotional abuse in intimate | | | | acknowledging their inner wounds, they reflexively |
| relationships. | | | | throw a dart to shift the energy toward you and |
| If you live in an abusive relationship, you know this | | | | keep the rawness of their own personal inward pain |
| unspoken interaction message like the back of your | | | | at bay. |
| hand. What you and your partner may not be aware | | | | Now, if you are on the receiving end of this verbal |
| of is that the "put-downs" so freely delivered spring | | | | emotional abuse, see your battering partner as he |
| forward from a place of vulnerability, not power. | | | | she truly is in the moment of their being abusive. Let |
| Even so, the impact of these little dirty emotionally | | | | yourself momentarily feel his/her compromised |
| abusive darts hurt. And that psychological pain builds | | | | experience over your own shattered feelings. And |
| over the months and years with more and more | | | | then, when you shift back to your own psychological |
| layers of blows. | | | | pain, you will recognize that you both have a wide |
| How can you and your partner interrupt the cycle of | | | | array of options that can move each of you and |
| emotional psychological abuse? What can be done to | | | | your relationship forward. |
| break this silent psychological warfare within and | | | | Interventions for Emotional Psychological Abuse |
| between the two of you? | | | | Ultimately, if you seek to break the cycle of |
| Separating YOU from the Emotional Verbal Abuse | | | | emotional verbal abuse, bring professional expertise |
| In the moment that the verbal emotional | | | | to the table with you and your abusive partner |
| psychological abuse comes forward, step back. Do | | | | because the rest of the work requires some |
| not personalize the message of the verbal abuse | | | | objectivity that you and your partner most likely will |
| because it probably has nothing to do with you. | | | | not have. |
| Oh yes, on some level, you certainly can talk yourself | | | | Be mindful that the success of any intervention will |
| into believing it is about you because it may be fitting | | | | depend on effective facilitation of individual and |
| contextually with respect to your life. However, you | | | | interactive awareness. Both you and your partner can |
| must realize that it is inspired from something totally | | | | be guided in recognizing and acknowledging the |
| outside of you. | | | | underlying psychological dynamics inspiring verbal |
| Recognizing the Abuser's Vulnerability | | | | emotional abuse. And alternative actions that enhance |
| Most people that work with batterers will tell you | | | | your relationship-rather than destroy your intimate |
| that their abusive gestures typically arise out of | | | | connection-can become your relationship guidelines. |
| vulnerability, not invincibility. It is as though they are | | | | |