The Domestic Violence Cycle - Drunk With Power

A few years ago, the Georgia Department of Humanset them off. That means a tough day at work,
Resource put out a report which stated that everyunfounded jealousy or just seeing their spouse in a
nine seconds a woman in the United States becomesgood mood which they did not authorize. The point is
the victim of domestic violence. That is a shockingto continually exercise that power over the victim.
statistic. Former Wisconsin Congressman Mark GreenAnd it never stops. There is never a time when the
put it in perspective when he stated, "If the numbersabuser finally feels totally in control and lets up on
we see in domestic violence were applied totheir significant other. The lower the victim sinks the
terrorism or gang violence, the entire country wouldmore invincible the abuser feels. Like a king from the
be up in arms, and it would be the lead story on theMiddle Ages that has conquered land as far as the
news every night."eye can see, they feel powerful but they always
Indeed it would and then maybe the glaring and harshwant more.
spotlight would focus on the people that have turnedSo it is no surprise that when the victim tries to flee
domestic violence into the epidemic that it is; thethis nightmare, her risk of being severely injured or
abusers. There are many motivating factors thatworse increases dramatically, about seventy five
cause a spouse to lash out at their significant other.percent according to the Coalition for Battered
As a child they may have been exposed to domesticWomen.
violence by their parents. From that experience, theBarbara Price is the executive director, "He's losing
abuser may have figured (incorrectly of course) thatpower and control, and that's what it's about. Ms
was how things were supposed to be regardingPrice tells Barbara Stewart of The New York Times
man-woman relationships. They loved their father sothe logic goes something like this, ''If I can't have
how could he be wrong?you, no one will."
Another possibility is that they themselvesMeaning no one, especially not the victim is going to
experienced that brutality first hand. The interactiontake away their power. Yes some of these
between parent and child was a violent one. They stillindividuals finally wake up to what they have been
feel the pain and anger from that time in their livesdoing and decide to get help. With far too many
and are constantly reliving it much to the detrimentothers, no such luck.
of their spouse or girlfriend.The potential loss of power and control makes them
It could be any or all of the above or even a wholeeven more determined to get it back. Whatever
different set of reasons for verbally and physicallytenuous grasp they had with reality before has
assaulting the person they supposedly love. Howeverslipped away. They become blinded with just one
there is one aspect more than all the others thatobsession and that is to restore the kingdom to its
keeps the cycle of violence going. Power.rightful heir; namely themselves. And when the
As one abuser told Oprah Winfrey, "I had everysignificant others who were the victims of this abuse
intention to take her life. I felt like I had power andrefuse to cooperate? The statistics and many of the
control over something in my life. It made me feeltragic stories we see on the nightly news are the
invincible."result.
Abusers are the ultimate control freaks. Anything can