Should You Try and Salvage Your Abusive Relationship?

The answer is no.generally know when they want to move on - deep
If you are a victim of domestic violence or domesticdown. There are many reasons for staying together,
abuse in all its forms you must end your relationship,and one of them is that you don't know how to go.
and move on. You deserve the opportunity to createTrying to salvage a relationship is a common mistake.
the life you deserve.The idea of salvage is promoted by the society that
You may think you are all alone and without hope -created the union. Married people are given a lot of
without a chance - but you're not. There are peopleencouragement to salvage relationships - especially
and organisations that can help you.where there are children involved. Even unmarried
Don't ask yourself how you will "survive" a break-up.partners with no children are encouraged to maintain
You shouldn't think of yourself as a victim of athe status quo, unless there are obvious reasons for
relationship breakdown - you are possibly the victimnot doing so.
in a relationship not of its breakdown. When you areIn most cases, trying to salvage the relationship
free from a destructive relationship you aremerely perpetuates the misery. And that goes for
emancipated. You should rejoice and appreciate yourthe children too. A relationship should not be salvaged
new lifestyle with new and exciting challenges ahead.just because one partner professes that they will be
Don't think about trying to salvage a violentruined by separation. Or one partner professes that
relationship. If you a suffering from domestic abusethe family will be split apart and the children
then I don't believe that the relationship shouldtraumatised forever. Or one partner insists that "they
continue. Evidence suggests that an abusive partnercan work it out", "they will change", or "they will
will never change - even after acknowledging theirnever do it again."
abusive behaviour (always a vital step) - or evenSome relationships are salvageable. One can imagine
after therapy. Most abusers return to abuse afterthat the immaturity of heart and emotion could lead
remorse spells an interval.to misunderstandings causing premature break-ups.
If you feel that your relationship can be salvagedBut these are just tiffs blown out of all proportion.
then think again. Get to the stage where you areWe are talking about people who recognise a real
prepared to leave and move on.dissatisfaction with their lives. And these people
You will find it difficult if your partner is exercisingrecognise that this dissatisfaction stems from a lack
some sort of control. This control may be emotional -of fulfilment in their relationship.
or as mentioned above, more physical. PeopleAsk yourself: This relationship, is it worth saving?