| Of course the best way to protect yourself from | | | | Why is that, well as I said it is because they, at |
| emotional abuse in a relationship is to leave it and find | | | | some level also believe it about themselves. What |
| a better one. | | | | happens when someone else says it to them is that |
| Most individuals are unable to muster the courage to | | | | it opens up an old deep wound that then creates a |
| do this for many reasons that involve fear. I have | | | | deep feeling of emotional pain. Their reaction is simply |
| written about this in another article (i.e. Relationships: | | | | their feeble attempt to quench that pain. |
| The Fear Of Letting Go Of A Bad Relationship). | | | | Such deep wounds are the result of similar earlier |
| One of the reasons why an individual is a) hurt by | | | | childhood trauma when they in an effort to survive |
| such emotional abuse and b) has trouble leaving the | | | | or be loved by older authority figures allowed |
| relationship in the first place is that deep down they | | | | themselves to be seduced into believing such |
| "believe" what is being thrown at them by their | | | | negativity about themselves (see my article |
| abuser. | | | | "Emotional Landmines"). |
| Now I know that some of you may not only find this | | | | So here is the initial root of the belief so to speak. |
| hard to believe you may also find it to be an | | | | The truth, whether you accept it or not is that you |
| offensive statement. It isn't meant to be. | | | | are not and never were stupid! If you have trouble |
| Let me explain what I mean. | | | | believing that then my point is made! |
| Suppose, for instance, you are a man and someone | | | | What's more if you have a hard time believing that |
| came up to you and said "You're a woman", would | | | | it's because you are carrying the trauma I mentioned |
| you be offended or hurt? Well unless you feel unsure | | | | above. |
| about your own sexuality, and some do, you would | | | | Did you know that such trauma and hence such |
| find such a statement totally laughable, wouldn't you? | | | | feelings about one's self can be permanently erased |
| You would likely think that the person who uttered | | | | from one's life? |
| such a statement about you was totally confused. | | | | What impact does this have? Well it leaves you |
| So what does that say? Well it says that you "know" | | | | completely resilient to such trauma in future! |
| with 100% certainty that you are not a woman. | | | | By completely resilient I mean something like this: |
| Hence the insinuation that you are, to you, is totally | | | | You feel in the midst of such abuse absolutely calm, |
| ridiculous. | | | | neutral, at peace, confident, joyful, happy, content, |
| Now suppose someone came up to you and said | | | | strong, invincible, focused, clear, and even humored. |
| "You're stupid". | | | | What's more you are free to leave it behind, which is |
| If you know with 100% certainty that you are not | | | | what I'm sure you wish to do, correct? |
| stupid you would also find this laughable. | | | | Is that worth anything to you? |
| Now I know that the reaction of most people to | | | | If so and you would like to know how to improve |
| such a statement about them would be met with | | | | your life and your relationships then kindly visit the |
| either slight or great offense. They might feel hurt, | | | | web link below where you may arrange an |
| angry, annoyed, and might even get violent. | | | | introductory telephone consultation with me. |