| Internet research provides two differing sets of | | | | handed me a Christmas gift and said she was sorry |
| statistics about the abuse of women. Some web | | | | as I left. |
| sites claim that one-third of all women worldwide will | | | | When I asked where I should go, none of the |
| experience some kind of abuse. Others say the | | | | counselors had good answers. One suggested the |
| number is only one-fourth of all women. Only? Either | | | | regular homeless shelter in town. There I could have |
| of those numbers should make you angry! | | | | three days of shelter, and would have been back on |
| No matter where you live, because these statistics | | | | the street. Fortunately, I did find somewhere else to |
| are real (just not quite in agreement), you owe it to | | | | go. |
| yourself or to your friends and loved ones to know | | | | This message is not meant to scare women into not |
| what resources are available in your area. | | | | seeking shelter. Instead, it is a wake-up call to all |
| As one who has experienced psychological, physical, | | | | women to find out about what shelters are available |
| emotional and financial abuse, I can tell you that being | | | | in their areas. |
| prepared in advance would have been helpful. | | | | I wish I had known that there was another shelter |
| In my case, I ended up in an abuse shelter in the city | | | | just 20 miles away from the town where I lived. |
| where I resided. My abuser was not in the same | | | | That shelter had an excellent program. Women were |
| state, though, so immediately I became a lower risk | | | | allowed to spend 60 days in the shelter, or longer if |
| than others in the opinion of the shelter leaders. | | | | they were showing progress in finding other help. |
| (They were wrong. My abuser traveled three days | | | | Additionally, this other shelter had transitional housing |
| to get to the city where I had fled.) | | | | opportunities available. Women who were actively |
| At the time I had not yet been diagnosed with | | | | trying to help themselves and who had not found or |
| fibromyalgia, chronic pain or chronic fatigue. My | | | | could not find permanent housing after 30 to 60 days |
| medical files did show, though, that I had a back | | | | were allowed to move to transitional housing, |
| injury in 1997, a car accident and neck injury in 2000, | | | | operated by the same organization. They also had a |
| and a knee injury and surgery in 2001. I was receiving | | | | network of other non-profits that would help gather |
| no income when I arrived at the shelter. | | | | furnishings, linens, etc. They offered long-distance |
| This particular women's abuse shelter had very strict | | | | calling cards, bus passes for public transportation, and |
| rules. Each woman who arrived had only 30 days in | | | | many other services. |
| which to find a job or other income and a place to | | | | The shelter that I found out about months after I |
| live. The shelter worked with other non-profits to | | | | was kicked out of the first one was certainly where |
| help women with things like deposits and furnishings. | | | | I should have gone in the first place. They provided |
| But the 30 day rule was never changed. | | | | assistance in numerous ways, and if a woman |
| I didn't really know how strict that rule was when I | | | | needed help in ways that they had not considered, |
| arrived. It wasn't until the last day of my 30 days | | | | they found ways to provide it. |
| that I found out how serious they were about it. | | | | Staying in an abusive situation should never be an |
| Before that, my particular counselor thought that | | | | option. Going to any abuse shelter is better than |
| since I was actively seeking work, disability | | | | staying. But since we know that between 25% and |
| assistance, medical assistance, etc. that there would | | | | 33% of all women will be abused, shouldn't we be |
| be an exception made. There was not, and on | | | | armed with knowledge of what services are available |
| December 15, I was told to pack my bags, even | | | | in our areas, what shelters are available and how |
| though that was the scheduled day for the annual | | | | they differ in their programs? Someone will need that |
| Christmas party for whatever residents were there. | | | | information. It could be our neighbor, our friend, or |
| And even though the night before I had been in the | | | | our relative. Or we could be the one in need. |
| emergency room with an injured foot. My counselor | | | | |