| You broke up with your ex because you were hurt, | | | | total control. |
| badly, by something that was said or done. You're ex | | | | How can I forgive if my ex wants me back? |
| is making noise about getting you back, so now | | | | Get it all out. If you haven't done so already, get |
| you're struggling with the big question, "My ex wants | | | | your feelings out right now. Tell a friend. Write them |
| me back, but can I forgive?" | | | | down. Vent them and then let them fade. |
| It seems that it's those we love the most who end | | | | Seek to understand. As your emotional state |
| up being the ones we hurt the most. We immerse | | | | subsides, let your mind begin to rationalize and |
| ourselves into a relationship, giving it our total | | | | understand where they come from. This puts you in |
| devotion until we are oblivious to the vulnerabilities | | | | a better place to deal with them now, and in the |
| that open us up to the possibility of getting hurt. | | | | future. |
| It's one of life's many cycles - love, relationship, | | | | Open lines of communication. Once you understand |
| break up, pain, make up, love. It seems that every | | | | your own pain, try to understand the pain your ex is |
| cycle of life includes pleasure as well as pain. It's what | | | | going through. Something caused your ex to inflict |
| we learn from it and how we grow as a result of it | | | | pain on you. Find out what it was. Chances are you |
| that gives it any significance. | | | | had a role in it. Get your ex's view point on the |
| Can I forgive my ex for hurting me? | | | | whole incident. |
| When we are hurt we are presented with a few | | | | Apologies all around. Express remorse for any role |
| different paths to follow, or ways to deal with it. We | | | | you might have had. Then be accepting of your ex's |
| can simply try to sweep it aside and move on, yet | | | | remorse. Be sure to remind your ex that your hurt |
| that can lead to lingering resentment. Or, we can | | | | runs deep and that the apology, while very helpful, is |
| pursue an internal struggle that keeps us wallowed in | | | | just a part of the healing process. |
| anger. Or, we can learn to forgive, that is, we can | | | | Make it better. With the apology your ex needs to |
| find ways to heal and let go. | | | | offer a fix. This may not come voluntarily, so you |
| If we are to learn and grow from the relationship | | | | need to suggest how your ex can make it all better. |
| cycle, the first two choices would offer very little | | | | Own your part. It takes two to tango so be open |
| Choose Forgiveness. | | | | and honest about your part in the matter. Let your |
| Forgiveness, when done deliberately and effectively, | | | | ex know what changes you will bring to the |
| allows us to let go of the anger and hostility which is | | | | relationship. |
| the path to emotional healing and growth. | | | | Forgiveness is hard, but it's the ultimate sign of love |
| Forgiveness is also the most difficult path to follow | | | | and strength. Whether you actually get back with |
| as it requires true courage. | | | | your ex, or not, it's the only path you have to healing |
| By forgiving your ex, you're not compromising. You're | | | | and personal growth. If you do go back with your |
| not giving in or excusing anything. Rather, you are | | | | ex, it's the only path that can lead to a stronger |
| healing yourself and setting yourself free. More | | | | relationship. |
| importantly, if your ex wants you back, it puts you in | | | | |