Lying in Family Court

When I became a family law attorney/mediator afterdramatic and demanding, with superficial charm and
a dozen years as a therapist, one of the biggestseductiveness. They are skilled at lying and
surprises was the extent of lying in Family Court: liesself-deception. Fabrication is also common.
about income, assets and even complete fabricationsDetecting Deception. Few people can visually detect
of child abuse and domestic violence. Why woulddeception. Research on judges, federal polygraphers,
people lie so much, I wondered? How did they getpsychiatrists and college students showed that all
away with it? The following is my psychosocialwere no better than chance using a standardized
analysis of what I believe has become an epidemic:videotape test. Only Secret Service Agents were
Men lie: It was a sad phone call from a relatively newbetter than average at distinguishing truth and lies.
client. He informed me his father had just died. HeSome studies show that the more confident a
had quit his job and was moving back east to wrapperson is, the less effective they are at lie detection.
up his father's affairs. He asked me to tell his wife'sStudies of police investigators and customs
attorney that he would not be able to pay childinspectors found that those with more experience
support for their three young children for a long time.were less accurate than novices.
(There was no support order yet.)Ineffectiveness of Non-Verbal Cues. Many people
The next day, his wife's attorney called me back andbelieve they can determine whether someone is lying
described how upset his wife was to learn of herby observing non-verbal behavior, such as: touching
father-in-law's death. So upset, that she had called histheir face, blinking their eyes, suddenly itchy nose,
father -- and had a nice chat!neck-scratching.
Women lie: A mother involved in a custody battleThese behaviors indicate anxiety, which most people
told the court in dramatic detail about physical abuseexperience when then lie. However, most people
at the hands of her husband. She even submitteddisplay anxiety when they are under any pressure,
reports of visits to doctors and emergency roomssuch as being challenged about their honesty.
for her bruises.Therefore, these symptoms are unreliable.
However, a court-ordered psychological evaluationStudies show that the only way non-verbal cues may
determined the allegations were false. The courtbe truly helpful is to observe a person over time.
agreed and awarded custody to the father. A fewTheir changes in non-verbal behavior may be a more
weeks later the mother picked up the children fromaccurate indicator of lying. An additional problem is
school and disappeared for a year. She was caught,that those with antisocial personalities actually
sent to jail for parental kidnapping, and the childrenbecome less anxious when they lie, and therefore do
returned to the father.not exhibit behavioral cues and do not register
Societal Increase in Lying. Surveys show that lyinganxious symptoms on lie detector tests.
has increased over the past decade. In 1999 alone:Effectiveness of Examining Records. Studies have
the President was tried in Congress for perjury; ashown that examining documents for contradictions
popular journalist in Boston was publicly fired forhas been more reliable than focusing on non-verbal
fabricating heart-rending stories; and a scientist wascues. In fact, they have found that evaluators were
exposed for falsifying research on a high-profilebest at lie detection when they were blind to
safety issue.nonverbal cues. Those who just read transcripts
We have become a society of individuals. Personalwere the most accurate.
gain is more important than community values. In thisWhat Can Be Done? The adversarial process naturally
mobile "information age," we rely on strangers andencourages lying: winning is the goal, liars get equal
are easily fooled. In business, politics, and the movies,time, and the most skillful adversary wins --
winning is everything. Successful manipulation andregardless of the truth. To overcome this inherent
deceit are admired. In court, lying is often rewardedproblem, we need:
and rarely punished.More use of mediation: Mediation and negotiation
No Penalty for Perjury . Divorce Courts rely heavilyfocus on problem-solving for the future. Lying about
on "he said, she said" declarations, signed "underthe past has little relevance. The parties know the
penalty of perjury." However, a computer search oflies and do not tolerate them.
family law cases published by the appellate courtsMore judicial time: Most divorce court decisions are
shows only one appellate case in California involving amade in 10-20 minute hearings. Judges must
penalty for perjury: People v. Berry (1991) 230 Cal.determine the custody and visitation schedule, the
App. 3d 1449. The penalty? Probation.amounts of child support and spousal support, and
Perjury is a criminal offense, punishable by fine or jailoften whether restraining orders are appropriate.
time, but it must be prosecuted by the DistrictThere is little time to analyze each declaration to
Attorney--who does not have the time. Family Courtdetermine who is lying. Judicial lectures alone have
judges have the ability to sanction (fine) parties, butlittle impact or the opposite effect on personality
no time to truly determine that one party is lying.disorders. More judges with more time could reduce
Instead, they may assume both parties are lying orlying from the start.
just weigh their credibility. With no specificMore attorney research: Attorneys often advocate
consequence, the risks of lying are low.for their clients' statements without investigation.
Personality Disorders and Patterns of Lying. FamilyThey often assume they will never know who is
Courts see everything: from small deceptions abouttelling the truth. Instead, they should learn about
income to the complete fabrication of abuse. Thepersonality disorders and patterns of lying, more
increase in lying seems to correspond with the risingcarefully question their clients, and more aggressively
number of people with personality disorders. Theyseek corroborating evidence.
often have internal distress, less empathy for others,More therapist awareness: Therapists are trained to
a highly adversarial world view, an intense andform impressions based on interpersonal observations
manipulative nature, and a sense of victimizationrather than external evidence. They form strong
which they use to justify harming others. Studiesbonds and believe their clients. They can provide the
show they have identifiable and predictable patternscourt with observations of their own client's behavior,
of lying:but should not reach conclusions based on hearing
A party with a Borderline Personality Disorder may lieone side. They need to be more wary of
out of anger or even self-deception in an effort tomanipulation in court cases.
maintain a bond with their child or spouse--or toMore consequences: It is an established dynamic of
retaliate for abandonment. Battles over custody andhuman behavior that rules made, but not enforced,
visitation are common.are increasingly broken. Lying in court is already illegal.
One with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder may lie toSo long as there is no penalty for perjury, lying will
boost themselves or to put other people down. Theyincrease. Family Court sanctions (fines) should be
enjoy manipulating the truth and other people's lives.used for lying.
They may experience excitement and a sense ofMore training: Court-related professionals need to
power by successfully fooling the court andrealize that you cannot tell who is lying by simple
dominating the other party. An Antisocial Personalityobservation. Yet one can learn personality dynamics
Disorder is characterized by deception, manipulation,which help indicate who might be lying, patterns of
and disrespect for authority. Commonly known aslying and where to look for evidence.
"con artists," they are skilled at breaking the rules.Resources. To be honest, studies referenced in this
They fabricate detailed events and use the courts toarticle came from: Lies! Lies! Lies! The Psychology of
get revenge or money. Their lack of empathy makesDeceit by Ford (1996) and Communication in Legal
them constant liars -- and often violent.Advocacy by Rieke & Stutman (1990).
A Histrionic Personality Disorder is often highly