| Getting out an emotionally abusive relationship is | | | | important documents, such as marriage licenses, |
| challenging to begin with, but when you add in all the | | | | jewelry appraisals, etc. Put your passport and social |
| additional practical considerations of a divorce | | | | security card, as well as those of your children, in a |
| process, it is all the more daunting. It is likely that as | | | | safe place. Document everything and anything your |
| a result of the emotional and psychological abuse, | | | | spouse does that is illegal, immoral, or unethical, |
| you feel inferior, weak, incompetent, or even crazy. | | | | particularly as it relates to your children. You may |
| This can make it feel like you will be unable to | | | | need this information, especially during a custody or |
| navigate the process. Your abuser will likely get | | | | parenting time evaluation. |
| worse behavior-wise during this time, so expect that | | | | 2. Above all else, disengage from your abuser |
| the programming he or she is attempting to put on | | | | whenever and however possible. Ideally, you will have |
| you will intensify in an attempt to control you, get | | | | no contact. If you must have contact to discuss |
| you back, or possibly minimize the costs to him or | | | | children, for example, keep the topic strictly to that |
| her. | | | | business. If your spouse attempts to take the |
| Naturally, if you have any concern that the emotional | | | | discussion into the personal realm, criticizing, berating, |
| abuse could become physical, make sure to contact a | | | | or even playing nice to draw you back into the |
| domestic violence shelter or counselor that specializes | | | | relationship, tell him or her you have to go and either |
| in domestic violence issues to come up with a "safe | | | | walk away or hang up. Ignore baiting phone calls or |
| plan" for exit specific to your situation. Otherwise, | | | | emails. If for whatever reason you find yourself |
| here are two more strategies you can use to more | | | | subject to your spouse's emotionally abusive |
| smoothly negotiate the divorce process from an | | | | behavior, repeat a nonsense phrase such as "lalalala" |
| emotional and psychological abuser: | | | | over and over in your head to avoid listening too |
| 1. Create a paper trail. Make copies of all other | | | | carefully and being caught up in defending yourself. |