| We hear a lot about the "he said, she said" when it | | | | abuse is due to something done by his/her partner. |
| comes to relationship violence. The challenge for | | | | Whereas in classic intimate partner violence, the |
| advocates and interventionists is to accurately | | | | externalization of blame goes from the battering |
| ascertain, not only "who did what" but even more | | | | partner to the battered partner. And while engaged in |
| revealing, what are the underlying dynamics inspiring | | | | the abuse dynamic, both people believe-on some |
| the altercations between the parties? | | | | level-that the battered person carries the |
| There are some clear distinctions between classic | | | | responsibility for the violence. |
| "intimate partner violence" and "interactional | | | | 3) The possessiveness and jealously that are |
| relationship abuse." | | | | characteristic of these relationships is also two-sided |
| 1) Classic intimate partner abuse is one-way. That is | | | | in interactional violence. Both people will evidence |
| the control dynamic within the relationship is | | | | intense jealously of the other's display of affections |
| consistently in one direction: from the empowered | | | | toward third parties. And both individuals hold the |
| person in the relationship to the un-empowered | | | | right to possess the other, dictating how he/she |
| person in the relationship. | | | | spends his/her time, energy, attention and resources. |
| Whereas in interactional relationship violence, the | | | | Whereas in classic intimate partner abuse, the abuser |
| control dynamics are ever shifting between the two | | | | will exhibit excessive jealously and possessive control, |
| individuals. While there is an unequal distribution of | | | | and the victim will not. In fact, both of the individuals |
| power within the relationship at any given time, that | | | | will more likely credit the dominating individual in the |
| distribution varies. One day the controlling party is | | | | relationship with unwavering entitlement rights. |
| person A, and the next day it can be person B. | | | | If you are in an abusive relationship, or are a witness |
| 2) The tendency to externalize blame is also shared | | | | to one, be mindful of this distinction between classic |
| by both individuals within the relationship | | | | intimate partner abuse and interactional relationship |
| (characterized by interactional abuse). For example, | | | | violence. Your doing so will assist you in dealing with |
| when there is an altercation, the battering person will | | | | the abuse dynamics and securing the proper |
| insist that his/her physical and/or verbal emotional | | | | intervention. |