| We've all heard it happens and if you've ever been in | | | | Breeds false hope for victim/survivor. Why? Because |
| an abusive relationship you know those promises like | | | | the promise in and of itself is not what changes |
| the back of your hand. | | | | battering behavior. The promise fails to take into |
| They seem so sweet in the first handful of rounds | | | | account the etiology of the assault (again, whether |
| living in an abusive relationship. And all that happens in | | | | verbal abuse, emotional abuse or an outright physical |
| the relationship immediately after feels just the | | | | assault). More often it only, yet dearly says: I won't |
| same...real sweet. HONEYmoon sweet. | | | | do that anymore. Things will be different. |
| You know there is a "but" coming here. I know you | | | | C) For the Couple Entangled in an Abusive |
| can feel it. | | | | Relationship |
| ...But, when one yields to the promises, here's what | | | | It rekindles the status quo, while diverting attention |
| happens. | | | | from the real issues. So, in addition to complicating |
| A) For the Abuser | | | | both parties individual understanding of the |
| Abuser conditioning - Taking the person back after | | | | altercation, it keeps the couple "elephant under the |
| an assault (whether physical, emotional or verbal | | | | carpet"...exquisitely covered so no one can see. Not |
| abuse), essentially sends a message that the abuser | | | | those looking from the inside out, much less those |
| can "get away" with that level of abuse. This is part | | | | looking from the outside in. |
| of how the stage is built for permission for the next | | | | If you find yourself face-to-face with one of these |
| altercation to magnify, to be more severe than the | | | | promises, be mindful of all of the implications that go |
| one before. Well, if I can get away with that one, | | | | hand and hand with it. The more you know earlier on, |
| then... | | | | the less likely you will be a consequence (a victim) of |
| B) For the Abused | | | | an abusive relationship spiraling out of control. |