| If you find yourself in a relationship with an abusive | | | | consequences to use with the abusive partner. The |
| partner, you may wonder how you could have | | | | abusive partner is accustomed to controlling every |
| possibly gotten there. Most of the time, abusive | | | | aspect of your life, and is 'rewarded' for his behavior |
| partners gradually retain more and more control in | | | | with fear and submission from you. When you learn |
| the relationship and become more emotionally and | | | | to recognize the disrespectful behavior, you can also |
| physically abusive. Because of this progression, you | | | | learn to call it what it is and walk away, thus |
| are trained to tolerate more and more disrespect, | | | | removing yourself from the situation. |
| until you are not sure how to handle domestic | | | | The reason that this step is effective in learning how |
| violence in the relationship. | | | | to handle domestic violence is that it gives the |
| Regaining Control | | | | abuser negative reinforcement when he acts |
| One of the first steps that you have to take is to | | | | inappropriately. Since you walk away, there is no |
| educate yourself on what is appropriate behavior | | | | longer anyone to control, manipulate, or vent his |
| from your partner. Often, you become so | | | | anger on, so the abuser is forced to deal with his |
| accustomed to accepting disrespectful behavior and | | | | feelings of inadequacy. In addition, it gives you power |
| the manipulation involved that it makes you feel like | | | | and keeps you safe from harm by allowing you to |
| you deserve it. When that happens, you have trouble | | | | tell the abuser for the first time what you will not |
| recognizing what constitutes respect from another | | | | tolerate in the relationship any longer. |
| person. Once you learn to recognize inappropriate | | | | By implementing these steps in the abusive |
| behavior for what it is, you are on your way to | | | | relationship, you can learn how to handle domestic |
| overcoming domestic violence. | | | | violence and regain control of your life. In addition, it |
| The next step in how to handle domestic violence in | | | | gives the abuser a chance to make a change in his |
| relationships is to learn what words and | | | | behavior to save the relationship. |