| In the beginning of the relationship, he is a gentleman. | | | | end? Usually, a funeral procession or a case going |
| He holds the door open for you, kisses you gently, | | | | cold. The only thing missing at this point would be the |
| holds in stomach-spreading gas, holds your hand in | | | | face we've seen from still images on the television. |
| public, sends you flowers, and makes attempts at | | | | Could it be you, next? |
| poetry. For all practical purposes, he is the best thing | | | | Ladies, you have to make a strong and conscious |
| since sliced bread. You are so impressed with him | | | | effort to leave before the last train leaves the |
| that you envision your wedding gown. You're | | | | station. You say, "But, I love him; He is just tired |
| probably thinking Annie Couture, Vera Wang, and | | | | from working too hard. He didn't mean to throw me |
| Reem Acra, a minimum of 20 Bridesmaids, a Phantom | | | | down the stairs". Hogwash! I'm sorry for being so |
| Limo, and Chris Daughtry and John Legend to sing at | | | | blunt about it, but sometimes the truth hurts. This is |
| the wedding and reception. Now, there's nothing | | | | just another occasion in which fear-mongering is |
| wrong with dreaming. Don't get me wrong; there are | | | | effective. Here, I am merely suggesting that you |
| some near-perfect relationships out there. If you're | | | | claim your ONE life and decide that nothing is more |
| reading this, you're probably in the majority. | | | | important than living out your life on your term, |
| Domestic violence rears its ugly face in virtually all | | | | unconditionally. |
| countries, villages, cultures, races, classes and income | | | | HERE IS THE FORMULA FOR SURVIVING AN |
| groups. It is a very difficult and multifaceted problem | | | | ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP: |
| with individual solutions that are appropriate for | | | | 1. Admit that the violence is VIOLENCE |
| different women in different socio-cultural contexts. | | | | 2. Call the local Authorities at the first sign of physical |
| The problem is not the type of help that exists in | | | | violence |
| the public; tons of social programs and interventions | | | | 3. Obtain a Restraining Order |
| are absolutely free. Instead, it is the lack of | | | | 4. Tell a friend or family member. Don't go at this |
| willingness to get help that is alarming, given that | | | | alone. You need the support. |
| there is rarely a good ending to remaining in the | | | | 5. Draw the line in the sand and tell him how you feel |
| relationship. This article is about leaving him and the | | | | when things are calm. |
| former dependent YOU behind. | | | | 6. Make the decision to Leave. Remember, violence |
| According to advocates against violence, "Domestic | | | | begets violence. |
| violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. | | | | 7. Leave |
| But it does - and when it does, there is help. Maybe | | | | 8. Re-claim your life. "Do the You inside". |
| you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just | | | | 9. Assuming there will be another relationship |
| once; maybe you work or live next to someone who | | | | someday, take it slow, and set boundaries. |
| is being abused right now". Wherever you are, and | | | | Women, you are wildflowers growing in concert with |
| no matter what you're going through, you can get | | | | the wind that gives you flight, and the sun that gives |
| help, and you don't have to go at it, alone. Just when | | | | you light. Even if children are involved, you must |
| you think you are so in love, and too far along to | | | | make the decision to leave at the earliest signs of |
| sever ties with your abusive lover, things go haywire, | | | | violence. You were not designed as a punching bag, |
| oftentimes ending in tragedy. How many times you | | | | nor should you assume the role of the injured duck. |
| are channel-surfing and you are frozen in time by the | | | | You are strength, will, and resiliency. Leave now, |
| "Breaking News" flash across the television of | | | | before the "Breaking News" becomes YOU. Claim |
| another missing female? How many times does the | | | | your life back. Do it now. |
| focus of the investigation turn towards the spouse, | | | | CELEBRATE YOU. |
| past or former lover? Invariably, what happens in the | | | | |