| Those who understand domestic violence know the | | | | people who will reflect those beliefs back at us. |
| chances of victims getting into another abusive | | | | There are those who say batterers are the problem. |
| relationship once they leave their first abusive | | | | But the Law of Attraction teaches us that batterers |
| relationship are very great. I have seen this many | | | | and victims attract each other. Yes, batterers need |
| times over the years. Without help the cycle will | | | | to face the consequences of their actions. And while |
| continue. | | | | victims often need to leave in order to be safe, |
| While running a group for battered women one client | | | | leaving, alone, does not guarantee the victim will not |
| began talking excitedly about her new relationship. | | | | fall into another abusive relationship. Thus, stepping |
| With my understanding of domestic violence, I | | | | out of an abusive relationship is not enough. Unless |
| reminded the client to be careful and to take her | | | | the victim changes their level of energy by getting |
| new relationship slow. She hardly paid attention as | | | | help to change the way they see themselves, and |
| she replied that this new partner was different from | | | | learning to value themselves, they will continue to |
| the last. I told her that was great, but she should still | | | | attract the same kind of partner. |
| take her time. She seemed to hear the words, but | | | | Even those who leave an abusive partner and never |
| not the message. | | | | get into another intimate relationship can still attract |
| Months passed without the client's return to group. | | | | abuse. They attract abuse from doctors, lawyers, |
| Then, one day after the group was under way, she | | | | and bosses, or other people they work with who are |
| showed up. The other participants in the group | | | | in positions of power. There are a number of clients I |
| gasped. The first thing they saw was her very | | | | have worked with who have experienced this. |
| bruised and battered face. Staying calm, I asked her | | | | Ultimately, if you are in this situation, it is important |
| what happened. Her immediate reply was, "You were | | | | that you work on your Self. If you aren't meeting |
| right; he was just like my ex." | | | | people who treat you well, then you need to get |
| Oftentimes, people who leave abusive relationships | | | | help to break the cycle. You can do this by attending |
| are under the impression that once they leave their | | | | support groups or getting counseling with a domestic |
| partner, the future will change. However, in order to | | | | violence counselor. There must be a determination on |
| break the cycle of abuse some form of help is | | | | your part to change your life. You also have to come |
| necessary or the likelihood of a successful relationship | | | | to the realization that you do not have to live with |
| is slim. This is because, in all honesty, we take | | | | physical, verbal, or emotional abuse. As you do the |
| ourselves with us wherever we go. We take our | | | | work you will begin to understand, and then come to |
| thoughts and patterns of behavior with us. | | | | know that you deserve to be loved and treated well |
| Furthermore, we take the beliefs about how | | | | -- not only by your partner, but first and foremost, |
| deserving we are of the relationships we say we | | | | by you. It is then that you can attract the kind of |
| desire. If we do not feel deserving, we will attract | | | | loving relationship you deserve. |