Finding Happiness After Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but beingSouth Africa. I enjoyed several meals with a
alone can feel worse. All your happily married friendsLondoner who'd sold her furniture business to travel
are still happily married, and here you are suddenlyaround the world. When I returned home to New
single. It's a huge adjustment. Even though you'veYork, I had a completely new outlook. I felt capable,
triumphed by getting out of a bad situation, there'spowerful, and independent. Traveling by myself had a
often an underlying sense of failure. There'spronounced impact on my subsequent relationships
enormous pressure to be a couple in this society.with men; I was no longer willing to take anything
When I was single, the worst part wasn't loneliness.less than the finest treatment from them.
It was the remarks from people who wanted to4. See a movie by yourself.
know when I was finally going "to hook up for real,"A friend's lovely boyfriend once told me, "You're not
and the warnings from an aunt that I wasn't gettingan adult until you've seen a movie by yourself." After
any younger. The worst comment came after I'dmy last rotten relationship, I took myself to see
broken up with a man who undermined my"Rain Man." Yes, a couple of less-enlightened jerks did
confidence, did not turn up when he said he waslook at me pityingly, but I didn't care. I walked out of
going to, slapped me so hard my ears rang, andthe theater feeling great, even if the movie was
threw a glass of wine in my face. A colleague toldoverrated. I started going on solo trips to the movies
me that I could not possibly last without him. "Youonce every couple of weeks, and it was absolutely
think you're happy, but you'd be much happier with afreeing. I didn't have to compromise with anybody
boyfriend," she said.about what film to see, and I genuinely enjoyed my
It is this attitude, which persists even in 2005, thatown company. I began to feel that I could do
drives women to date substandard men and put upwhatever I wanted.
with ridiculous behavior. It makes it tempting to pick5. Buy yourself flowers.
up the phone and ask a rotten fellow if he has plansOnce a week, pick out an inexpensive bouquet from
Friday night, rather than face the prospect ofthe corner grocer. Stop making excuses. Stop telling
attending a dinner party populated with giddy couplesyourself you can't afford it, that you should spend
alone.your money on something practical, and just buy it.
Maybe you'd like to meet someone new, but theTake it home and put it in one of those empty
idea of dating makes you nervous. You certainly don'tvases you have lying around. The flowers will cheer
want to end up with another abuser. Women tend toyou every time you see them. They will make you
attract the same type of person again and again,feel loved.
unless they take steps to do otherwise.6. Go out with your old friends.
That was my story, anyway. After seeing a seriesThere's nothing quite like a night out with the girls. If
of men who ranged from being abusive toyou managed to shut out your friends while you
emotionally distant, I decided that it was time to stopwere with What's-His-Name, you may have some
dating. I would become my own boyfriend. I startedapologizing to do. So go to it, and resolve never to
treating myself the way the dreamiest man in thelet a man get between you and your friends again.
world would. The results were fantastic. Two monthsThen, go out and have a blast. Do it often! You
later, I began my first healthy relationship with a man.deserve it.
I never did fall in love with him, though, so I broke it7. Treat yourself kindly.
off. Then the man who would become my husbandTalk to yourself as you would a beloved child. You
walked into the picture, starting the most fulfillingwouldn't tell a little one, "You're so stupid," or "You're
relationship I have ever known. What's more, it's anfat," so stop saying such things to yourself. Speak to
easy relationship: no drama, no angst, and no mindyourself--and treat yourself--like a perfect soul who is
games. We've been happily married for 12 years.progressing every day. A baby doesn't come into the
You can have a healthy, fulfilling love relationship, too.world with the ability to talk, but it learns eventually.
But you have to do some inner work first. Here'sTreat yourself to something wonderful every chance
how to get going:you get. It doesn't have to cost money. Lose the
1. Believe that you are capable of it.guilt and eat your lunch in the park instead of tying
If all your relationships have been unhealthy, you mayyourself to your desk. Take a walk in the evening
not believe that you are capable of a healthy one.and discover a different part of town. Do things that
Maybe you don't even know what a happy andfeel good. If you have the habit of eating takeout
mutually supportive relationship is. Find a pen andbecause you don't like "to cook for one," it's time to
paper right this minute and write down the qualitiesimpress the most important person in your life. Cook
your perfect man would possess (hint: he'd be loving,yourself something simple and delicious. Set the table
honest, faithful, gentle, and so on). Now write down(no standing over the stove and eating out of the
how you'd feel in a relationship with such a personpot) and serve it on your best china. Enjoy it with a
(peaceful, content, joyous, excited, and so on). Keepsingle glass of the most delightful wine you can
these lists with you at all times. Dwell on themafford.
whenever you have a minute, perhaps in the ladies'8. Take a class or join a club.
room at work. It's especially helpful to readYeah, yeah, yeah, you've heard it before, but it really
them--and feel the emotions they bring up--for adoes make a difference. Everybody has a special
minimum of 30 days. Do this as you drop off tointerest, and it's time to explore yours. You'll develop
sleep at night and before you put your feet on theconfidence, meet new people, and most important,
floor in the morning. Your subconscious will go toget out of the house on a regular basis. When my
work on drawing a man with these qualities to you. Itfriend Brian found out that his girlfriend had been
may sound like hocus-pocus, but it works.cheating on him for 15 years, he packed up her
2. Know that you are a treasure yet to bethings and listened to sad music for two weeks.
discovered.Then he moved on. His interests are cooking and the
Make a list of your own excellent qualities. Bring tooutdoors, so he enrolled in a cooking class and joined
mind every important compliment you've evera hikers' club. He made friends through both activities
gotten. Recognize that you deserve a healthyand, before long he was inviting them to his house
relationship. Understand that you are worthy of love,for dinner parties. One night, a guest brought a
respect, tenderness, and whatever else was missingfemale friend along, and Joe fell in love with her.
from--or inconsistent in-- your former relationship. AThey got married two years ago.
lot of us have been raised to think it's conceited to9. Date carefully.
dwell on our good qualities, but you if you haven't aAfter being your own boyfriend for a while, you may
sense of your own worth, you really can't attract awant a relationship with a man again. (Or maybe you
man who will give you the love you deserve. It'swon't.) When you're out on dates, ask yourself if the
imperative that you overcome your own feelings ofguy exhibits any of your ex's qualities. Abusers are
inadequacy before you date again, or you're boundutterly charming in the beginning, but they leave clues
to end up with your ex in a different body.that indicate they're not good boyfriend material.
3. Do all the things you put off while you were withObserve carefully. Never make excuses for poor
Mr. Wrong.behavior. Ask yourself if the guy is the kind of man
Now is the time to do all the things your ex held youyou'd like your daughter to marry (whether or not
back from, whether that means going to a museumyou have one). If the answer is no, give him the slip.
or eating in a particular restaurant. Perhaps you'veContinue to be your own boyfriend until the right
dreamed of vacationing in Malta, but your ex insistedfellow shows up. Eventually, he will.
on a fishing trip every year. If you can afford it,Make time to develop a loving relationship with
pencil in some vacation time and go for it-- byyourself, and the bad boys you once found irresistible
yourself. After I decided to become my own bestjust won't appeal to you anymore. You will magnetize
boyfriend, I took myself to San Francisco for fourgentle, fun, upstanding, faithful men, and you'll be
days. I booked a room in a B&B instead of aattracted to them, too, for a change. Before you
hotel because I'm shy; the communal breakfastsknow it, you'll find yourself in the relationship of your
forced me to talk to other people. As a result, Idreams. I did it, and so can you.
went sight-seeing with a dancewear designer from