| I'm writing this article to help the thousands of | | | | resources or advice charities which advocate |
| American fathers out there who are fighting a | | | | traditional divorce practices suggest the same old |
| restraining order so that they can win a custody | | | | defenses which usually lengthen and abuse the legal |
| battle during their separation or divorce proceedings. | | | | system in their own way - with very few of them |
| First of all, I'm here to give you a clear warning about | | | | actually focusing on the needs of the kids involved! |
| the biggest problem you'll be facing. It's that if your | | | | Fathers have a right to be around to see their kids |
| ex has decided to fight dirty by filing a temporary | | | | grow up, and very often they fail to win a custody |
| restraining order against you, or made phony abuse | | | | battle whilst fighting a restraining order - not because |
| allegations in court, it's just the start of the games | | | | they're not good dads, but because they didn't know |
| that she has up her sleeves to make your life hell. | | | | the right steps to take to defend themselves. |
| And there is no lack of lawyers willing to educate | | | | The good news is that you can successfully defend |
| her, if not. Some lawyers have fathers fighting a | | | | yourself, by gathering evidence (store receipts, |
| restraining order as a standard procedure - it doesn't | | | | emails, names of witnesses, bank statements) and |
| matter to them that there is no merit to any of the | | | | learning how to present it in the family court yourself. |
| accusations, and it won't influence their sly legal | | | | Whether you've just been served the order (so |
| maneuvers. The benefits are too huge for your ex | | | | you're basically fighting a temporary restraining order, |
| to ignore - namely, that: | | | | aka an "ex parte" order) or it's evolved into a |
| - your ex can file a petition to the court that | | | | permanent one at a later court hearing, many fathers |
| maintenance payments should increase (since you | | | | regain access to see their kids. My own case involved |
| can't see your kids, they can't stay at your place or | | | | firing an expensive lawyer who wasn't really putting |
| go on day trips) | | | | my needs (or the needs of my kids) first, and I |
| - you end up swamped in paperwork, and end up | | | | ended up winning 100% full custody of my two sons |
| financially and emotionally bankrupt after fighting a | | | | as a result. It's something I am thankful for every |
| restraining order AND trying to win custody at the | | | | day. I want more fathers to realise that they can win |
| same time | | | | a custody battle too - and it's easier than they might |
| Worse than that, most women's online advice | | | | think. |