Family Violence Healing - Writing about a Mother's Nightmare of Abuse Beyond Control

When you have a story to tell, there are twomonths and wrote nothing more than an outline.
questions. How do you do it? And how did you do it?How the Book Was Written
Domestic violence survivors often ask theseThen one day I had the honor of speaking with
questions of me. Read on to learn how your storyByron Katie after one of her events. I told her that I
can write itself.had been struggling with writing a book. I said, "I
Where did you get the where-with-all to write yourneed to write this book, and I can't seem to get it
book (All But My Soul) people continue to ask sevenout of me."
years after its publication. This question has beenKatie looked at me and said, "No, you don't have to
presented to me so many times, I'm compelled towrite that book; the book needs to write itself."
give you the answer in this article.So, I went home and thought who do I want to
I didn't write it; it wrote itself. Now I know thathear me speak? I placed pictures of my children
sounds ridiculous on face value, but that's actuallyaround my monitor and every morning upon
what did indeed happen. Here's how.awakening I went directly to the keyboard. Exactly
Why I Wrote All But My Soul100 days from the day I began, I had a 400 plus
First, I've known since the 80's through studying thepage first draft of the manuscript (most of which is
work of James Pennebaker, Ph.D. that when youthe final draft).
write about trauma, it releases from the physiology.The Inner Ache to the Outer Release
And I didn't want to go to my grave with this drama.But I think when people ask me that question, what
Secondly, my children were being told by their fatherthey really want to know is how did I get around, or
(and his family) that I abandoned them, yet nothingover, the anger and anguish to bring pen to paper
could be further from the truth. What actuallyrather than resorting to the destruction of those that
happened is I was abused out of their lives.impacted the life of my children and myself? Or, as
And lastly, I had learned so much about domesticsome do...rather than resorting to the destruction of
violence and the legal abuse syndrome, I wanted tomyself.
put it out there for the hundreds and thousands ofHere's how. Each time I would come to a player in
people who are in abusive relationships and thoseour saga that would make my hair stand on end, I
headed toward one.would pull back and run those feelings through The
I wanted to help them see the dynamics of batteringWork until I could go to the keyboard and
relationships and understand how domestic abuse caneffortlessly write their chapter.
be transformed into legal domestic abuse. I wantedSo for me it was a zigzagging between inner work
them to know that if they were encountering familyand outer expression. Compounding this was the way
court denying them the right and ability to protectI allowed the material to come to me up from the
their children and themselves that their case was notinner depths of my own quietude. When I'd fatigue
an anomaly.from writing, I'd sit in meditation until another block of
I also wanted them to have information to betterthought rushed forth running me back to the
protect their children and themselves. I thought thatkeyboard.
by knowing the common strategies used to railroadIn many respects the book did write itself, and what
domestic violence survivors through the system atI did was get out of the way. My hope for you is if
the bequest of their perpetrators to silence theyou have a story to tell, you do all that is necessary
abuse, they would have an advantage.to allow it to pour out from you to benefit all those
So my intentions where pretty clear but the writing,who are drawn to it. It has meant so much to me to
well that was a different matter. I simply didn't knowhear how my writing has impacted women worldwide
where to begin. I thought about it for about twoover the years.