| When you have a story to tell, there are two | | | | months and wrote nothing more than an outline. |
| questions. How do you do it? And how did you do it? | | | | How the Book Was Written |
| Domestic violence survivors often ask these | | | | Then one day I had the honor of speaking with |
| questions of me. Read on to learn how your story | | | | Byron Katie after one of her events. I told her that I |
| can write itself. | | | | had been struggling with writing a book. I said, "I |
| Where did you get the where-with-all to write your | | | | need to write this book, and I can't seem to get it |
| book (All But My Soul) people continue to ask seven | | | | out of me." |
| years after its publication. This question has been | | | | Katie looked at me and said, "No, you don't have to |
| presented to me so many times, I'm compelled to | | | | write that book; the book needs to write itself." |
| give you the answer in this article. | | | | So, I went home and thought who do I want to |
| I didn't write it; it wrote itself. Now I know that | | | | hear me speak? I placed pictures of my children |
| sounds ridiculous on face value, but that's actually | | | | around my monitor and every morning upon |
| what did indeed happen. Here's how. | | | | awakening I went directly to the keyboard. Exactly |
| Why I Wrote All But My Soul | | | | 100 days from the day I began, I had a 400 plus |
| First, I've known since the 80's through studying the | | | | page first draft of the manuscript (most of which is |
| work of James Pennebaker, Ph.D. that when you | | | | the final draft). |
| write about trauma, it releases from the physiology. | | | | The Inner Ache to the Outer Release |
| And I didn't want to go to my grave with this drama. | | | | But I think when people ask me that question, what |
| Secondly, my children were being told by their father | | | | they really want to know is how did I get around, or |
| (and his family) that I abandoned them, yet nothing | | | | over, the anger and anguish to bring pen to paper |
| could be further from the truth. What actually | | | | rather than resorting to the destruction of those that |
| happened is I was abused out of their lives. | | | | impacted the life of my children and myself? Or, as |
| And lastly, I had learned so much about domestic | | | | some do...rather than resorting to the destruction of |
| violence and the legal abuse syndrome, I wanted to | | | | myself. |
| put it out there for the hundreds and thousands of | | | | Here's how. Each time I would come to a player in |
| people who are in abusive relationships and those | | | | our saga that would make my hair stand on end, I |
| headed toward one. | | | | would pull back and run those feelings through The |
| I wanted to help them see the dynamics of battering | | | | Work until I could go to the keyboard and |
| relationships and understand how domestic abuse can | | | | effortlessly write their chapter. |
| be transformed into legal domestic abuse. I wanted | | | | So for me it was a zigzagging between inner work |
| them to know that if they were encountering family | | | | and outer expression. Compounding this was the way |
| court denying them the right and ability to protect | | | | I allowed the material to come to me up from the |
| their children and themselves that their case was not | | | | inner depths of my own quietude. When I'd fatigue |
| an anomaly. | | | | from writing, I'd sit in meditation until another block of |
| I also wanted them to have information to better | | | | thought rushed forth running me back to the |
| protect their children and themselves. I thought that | | | | keyboard. |
| by knowing the common strategies used to railroad | | | | In many respects the book did write itself, and what |
| domestic violence survivors through the system at | | | | I did was get out of the way. My hope for you is if |
| the bequest of their perpetrators to silence the | | | | you have a story to tell, you do all that is necessary |
| abuse, they would have an advantage. | | | | to allow it to pour out from you to benefit all those |
| So my intentions where pretty clear but the writing, | | | | who are drawn to it. It has meant so much to me to |
| well that was a different matter. I simply didn't know | | | | hear how my writing has impacted women worldwide |
| where to begin. I thought about it for about two | | | | over the years. |