Family Violence Healing: 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation

Healing parental alienation is a mending most do insystem to secure justice for yourself and your
private, if at all. Here are some tips to facilitate yourchildren.
healing process.On this note...know it was never about them anyway.
When children go away to college and get awayRather, it's about you and the strength you bring to
from "who and what" the controlling family membersthe table to endure the challenges before you.
want them to be, a window opens up. What theyHealing Comes from Within
discover is their essence. Now here's the gem...A dear friend reading the above, written as a
That essence is a composite of their formativeself-contained article, noted how important and
years. If you were in their lives during this time, goodpowerful those 3 keys are. And further she pointed
chance you can slip back in and they can be in yours.out, how helpful those words would have been for
3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienationme to hear when I first encountered parental
There are some key things you will want to do andalienation.
things you'll be best avoiding in order to rekindle yourI thought to myself, had these words been told to
relationship with your children if you are an estrangedme, I would not have heard them...not deeply and
parent.certainly not from the place that the healing I needed
1) Focus on what you have, and what you had, withcould embrace them.
them; not what you don't have or what you missed.Healing Is a Process
To help you maintain this focus, find points of sharedNo one could have told me those words with the
sweet sentiment and build out from here.same healing impact that they represent. Those
2) Trust that they don't need to understand all thewords were the telling of me to me...of my
elements surrounding your absence to feel their loveprocess...of my process of coming to grips with all
for you and yours for them. It is already there.that I encountered over the last decade.
Always know these so-called "elements" of yourMy hope for you is that these words spark your
story must be digested as they can behealing process...your mending from family violence
assimilated...and not a moment before.and legal domestic abuse.
3) Don't expect them to give you back what youHealing is not something done to someone, healing is
lost. They can't. They don't hold what you lost, asdone from, and within, someone. Honor, support and
they lost it too.find ways to facilitate your healingfor yourself and
If you are reading this, I assume you are (or know)for all those whose lives are touched by you.
a battered mother who weathered battling the