| It is common for people in an emotionally abusive | | | | loyalty to the relationship. |
| relationship to struggle with leaving it. Sometimes it | | | | 2. The definition of loyalty is likely to be defined by |
| appears that no matter how destructive the | | | | the abuser. Emotionally abusive relationships are about |
| relationship is to the victim, he or she feels compelled | | | | control, as frequently the abuser will place restrictions |
| to stay in it anyway. The victim may have had | | | | and definitions on acceptable behavior in the |
| lowered self worth to start with. The treatment of | | | | relationship, regardless of whether or not it is |
| the victim by the emotional abuser often serves to | | | | reasonable or shows any respect for the autonomy |
| reduce the victim's feelings of capability, worth, and | | | | of the other person. For example, for an abuser, |
| mental stability enough that leaving seems a | | | | "loyalty" might be defined as spending time with no |
| frightening venture. The concept of loyalty also holds | | | | one but the abuser - forsaking friends and family. In |
| people in relationships - and while this can have a | | | | a healthy relationship, this would not be demanded or |
| positive and cementing effect in a healthy | | | | labeled as being loyal. |
| relationship, in an emotionally abusive relationship it is | | | | 3. The victim may experience guilt and label it as |
| often a misapplied concept. Here are 3 ways loyalty | | | | loyalty. It is common for the abuser to blame the |
| is misplaced in an emotionally abusive relationship: | | | | victim for "causing" him or her to behave in an |
| 1. The victim may confuse fear with loyalty. True | | | | abusive way. This may cause the victim to question |
| loyalty comes from a place of love, concern, and | | | | reality and blame him or herself undeservedly. This |
| consideration for the feelings of your partner. If you | | | | self blame can translate to guilt and mold certain |
| are acting a certain way out of fear of what your | | | | behaviors designed to make up for causing the |
| partner might do to you if he or she knew about it, | | | | problem, but this is not loyalty. |
| that is fear for your safety rather than genuine | | | | |