| Many people feel compelled to stay in relationships | | | | intimidation. |
| that are destructive or toxic for them. Perhaps | | | | 2. The concept of loyalty is often set by the abuser. |
| having low self esteem to begin with, the destructive | | | | This means that unreasonable requests or demands |
| actions of the partner can serve to drive down | | | | may be made all in the name of "loyalty." For |
| feelings of self worth even further. Often, the | | | | example, an emotionally abusive partner may demand |
| victimized partner feels a sense of loyalty to the | | | | that a partner stay away from friends and family to |
| partner who may be emotionally or otherwise | | | | prove devotion and commitment to him or her. In a |
| abusing him or her. While loyalty in healthy | | | | healthy relationship, this would likely be seen as |
| relationships can be a very positive and securing trait, | | | | unreasonable, but the emotional abuser can frame |
| when it is applied in the context of an emotionally | | | | loyalty in whatever terms he or she wishes in order |
| abusive and destructive relationship, it becomes | | | | to maintain control over the victim. |
| misplaced. Here are 3 reasons loyalty is mistakenly | | | | 3. The victim is wracked with guilt and may view that |
| given in these types of relationships: | | | | emotion and compulsion as loyal. The abuser may |
| 1. The victim confuses fear with loyalty. In healthy | | | | blame the victim for causing him or her to be |
| relationships, loyalty arises from empathy, honor, and | | | | abusive, and point out how the violation of the |
| a desire to protect the other person's security and | | | | abuser's parameters shows disloyalty. Once again, the |
| feelings in the relationship. If the victim is behaving in | | | | goal for the victim is not to honor his or her partner's |
| certain ways out of fear of retribution, this is not | | | | feelings out of true loyalty, but as a way to avoid |
| truly loyalty, but more along the lines of fear and | | | | further confrontation and possible abuse. |