| Codependence is a term coined to describe partners | | | | else doesn't mean the situation is desirable. |
| involved with addicts. It describes a dynamic | | | | 2. You hide the destructive or hurtful behavior of |
| whereby a codependent partner enables, makes | | | | your partner from others. You may feel ashamed of |
| excuses for, and struggles with their own boundaries | | | | the way you are being treated, and feeling |
| against the addict's hurtful behavior. Often, some | | | | protective of your partner's reputation as well. |
| similar characteristics are found in partners of | | | | 3. You make excuses for your partner to others. |
| emotional and psychological abusers (who of course | | | | You may try to cover commitments they have not |
| may also be addicts). The victim of the emotional | | | | fulfilled, or explain to others why your partner isn't |
| abuser may make excuses for an abuser's actions, | | | | able to fulfill them. You are taking responsibility for |
| minimize or rationalize the situation, and be afraid to | | | | something that should be your partner's obligation to |
| confront the issue. | | | | address. |
| Here are 5 signs you may have codependent | | | | 4. It is more important to maintain some kind of |
| tendencies: | | | | status quo than to risk "rocking the boat" and losing |
| 1. You minimize your partner's behavior. You may use | | | | your partner. You are sure you will not be able to go |
| phrases like "At least he or she doesn't _____." | | | | on without this person, regardless of how destructive |
| There may be a worse situation than yours, but think | | | | his or her behavior is to you and the relationship. |
| of it this way: You may have two car accidents, one | | | | 5. You are convinced that your partner needs you |
| leaving you paralyzed, the other only breaking couple | | | | and something bad will befall them if you leave. You |
| of bones and scratching your face. But wouldn't a | | | | find yourself taking responsibility for their mood and |
| safe, non-eventful drive be better than either of | | | | actions, sometimes their very life. You are more |
| these scenarios? Just because your situation isn't | | | | comfortable being the giver, rather than enjoying an |
| violent, or your partner isn't "as bad" as someone | | | | equal give and take relationship. |