| When a person has decided they are finally ready to | | | | attitude is about the route you expect to follow to |
| start the healing journey they may find various | | | | get there. |
| aspects of the journey unclear for a while until they | | | | What we know about attitude is once the journey |
| realise they have to challenge and change their ideas, | | | | has started the attitude sometimes needs to change |
| beliefs, attitudes and values - and how all of these | | | | as reality dawns. |
| interact with each other. | | | | For example, you may be looking for a straight path |
| Ideas | | | | to emotional wellness but the path turns out to be a |
| An idea is a snapshot map - usually an image. Ideas | | | | crazy-paving path instead and you sometimes find |
| tend to be easily shared and universally | | | | yourself stuck in the middle of nowhere (at least you |
| acknowledged as to what they are with other | | | | think that way at the time). Other times you find |
| people. | | | | yourself where you want to be without knowing |
| An idea can be an image of something we are | | | | quite how you arrived. |
| moving towards, something we wish to create or | | | | If I suggest to you the first part of your journey |
| the map of a journey we are thinking about travelling. | | | | towards emotional healing, particularly if you have a |
| We are able to share and test our ideas easily with | | | | serious anxiety disorder such as obsessions; OCD or |
| other people and there can be common agreement | | | | phobias to clear, is to go speak to your doctor and |
| on what the idea looks like. Individual differences | | | | establish a supportive team because this is going to |
| arise, however, when individuals assess the impact of | | | | be a long journey and you need their help - would |
| each idea differently and you find an idea you are | | | | you do that? |
| exploring is something someone else will not even | | | | Or would that be too much of a delay? You could do |
| consider. | | | | what I did and spend the first three months doing an |
| For example I can share with you a simple three | | | | exposure therapy plan alone then rushing to the |
| stage idea of an exposure therapy plan and you will | | | | doctor for confirmation that your 'mammalian freeze |
| understand it clearly - but while I automatically accept | | | | response' is a normal part of the anxiety process and |
| the idea as workable you may assess it as the most | | | | not instead evidence you are going into a diabetic |
| stupid and dangerous thing a person can do. | | | | coma. |
| We are capable of storing thousands if not millions of | | | | Values |
| ideas over a lifetime without being too concerned | | | | Values are the things we regard as most important in |
| about their accuracy. | | | | life and without which life would not not be worth |
| Several ideas you may like to think about when it | | | | much (they are still just ideas, really). |
| comes to removing an emotional disorder include: | | | | Values are both about the destination and the |
| - emotional issues are driven by trapped emotional | | | | journey. They are how we wish to travel, and why. |
| energy rather than the original trigger that produced | | | | Our Self-Image is a value system based on who we |
| them | | | | see ourselves as now, who we wish to be and how |
| - an emotional response you are currently having in | | | | we get to be that person (in most cases we already |
| regards to an event happening several years ago | | | | are that person and we just do not know it yet). |
| may be a liar because it is based on a problem that | | | | In order to be properly lined up mentally and |
| no longer exists | | | | emotionally you need to understand your values and |
| - even if it is lying the energy has to be released | | | | how you work with them right now - if you are not |
| through the past event as if it were temporarily true | | | | lined up inside the gaps will show. |
| right now in order for the body to stop wanting to | | | | You can see this in social organisations where what |
| resolve the issue being lied about. | | | | the organisation is set up to achieve on behalf of |
| The nature of ideas starts to change when we | | | | others is not how the organisation travels itself - for |
| select an idea from the many available and either | | | | example I remember watching a television |
| decide to apply the map it offers to the way we | | | | programme where a doctor treating insomniacs was |
| manage our emotional lives or we see the idea as | | | | trying to get his 110 hour working week reduced. |
| something to fight. | | | | The doctor was crumbling as he worked to help |
| Beliefs | | | | others. |
| Beliefs are ideas with roots. | | | | It is easier to see this in others than it is in ourselves |
| Those roots are fed by emotional responses based | | | | but, for an individual, this lack of congruence may |
| on a mixture of real-life experiences and imagined | | | | show for example in how a person really concerned |
| scenarios (mostly imagined scenarios, if we are being | | | | about the safety of their family acts like a vicious |
| honest). | | | | bully to keep everyone 'safe'. |
| They are also supported by other ideas held in our | | | | Because your values become unconscious over time |
| brains - ideas that show, for example, what happens | | | | you may forget what they are until they are |
| if the idea is applied for a short time (a day); a | | | | threatened by a life event or the behaviour of |
| medium period of time (few weeks ) and | | | | someone else. |
| strategically (five years to a lifetime). | | | | When your deepest value systems are being |
| We believe certain things will happen if we apply an | | | | challenged you are at most risk of developing |
| idea for long enough - the decision as to whether or | | | | emotional disorders because if the challenge repeats |
| not we apply a new idea depends on how convinced | | | | over time you will react more and more strongly; to |
| we are the idea will produce a desired result and how | | | | the point you become sensitised (over-reactive). |
| desirable that result is compared to the discomfort of | | | | Once you become sensitised you lose sight of what |
| the journey to get to it. | | | | your underlying values are and become more |
| Beliefs are concerned with the truth or otherwise of | | | | concerned with your sensitised state. You know you |
| a map. If we follow the journey represented to us | | | | are over-reacting and become suspicious as to why. |
| by the idea will we find the destination promised or | | | | You now see YOU as the threat. |
| the threats we were warned about? | | | | Truth is you felt your deepest values were |
| Beliefs about a thing are really only concerned with | | | | threatened and became compelled to do something |
| two questions - should we move towards or away | | | | about it - but in reality there is nothing you can do |
| from the idea? | | | | and now you are stuck in a Catch-22 situation. All |
| If I were to say to you that, as you approach your | | | | emotionally pumped up with nowhere to go. |
| emotional disorder, uncovering it layer by layer, you | | | | How would you value my advice if I told you that |
| will eventually see that you have been deliberately | | | | valuing the well-being of other people above your |
| keeping the disorder to prevent some terrible thing | | | | own well-being - even if they are, for example, your |
| from happening, rather than because you are hiding | | | | children - puts you at serious risk of becoming |
| from your own 'demonic self' - would you believe | | | | emotionally ill? |
| me? | | | | Although we cannot remove our value systems, nor |
| The decision which direction to go in, towards or | | | | should we wish to, we can re-prioritise them. In order |
| away from an idea, decides your attitude to the | | | | to become emotionally well you may, for a long time, |
| problem. | | | | have to keep re-visiting and challenging what you |
| Attitude | | | | value. |
| In past times 'attitude' was the name given to the | | | | You must always value your long-term emotional |
| method used by a predator to stalk its prey. | | | | well-being above that of others - you are of no use |
| Whether you want to move towards an idea or | | | | to others if you do not do so. |
| away from it decides your general direction; but | | | | |