| It is classic among practitioners of abuse. Verbally | | | | behold wouldn't you know it? It all points back to |
| they can be unbelievably cruel to you; publicly | | | | you. Some said so directly. Others stated it in a |
| humiliating you without a second thought. When they | | | | roundabout way but you caught their meaning. |
| get you home, they really let you have it; cranking it | | | | Mix that in with some self doubt and next thing you |
| up a notch until you are reduced to tears. Seeing you | | | | know you are stuck with a question that never goes |
| like that gives them an energy boost. They | | | | away: What am I doing wrong? |
| understand completely the power they have over | | | | The answer is nothing. The wrong is being done by |
| you and now it's time to assert that power to its | | | | the abuser. They have no right to assault you |
| fullest extent. | | | | verbally or physically because things are not going |
| For the ones who practice the physical it's just | | | | exactly as they would like or they have issues inside |
| slightly different. They may or may not hit you in | | | | of them that they have never resolved and refuse |
| public but when they get you home, watch out. And | | | | to deal with. |
| just like the verbal, seeing you hurt physically and | | | | Life is not always a bed of roses but you have made |
| emotionally gives them an added sense of power. | | | | the conscious effort to take it as it comes without |
| There's no doubt in their minds about who runs the | | | | lashing out at someone who is supposed to be your |
| show. | | | | partner. |
| Now here comes the trick. They may come back to | | | | If you are being physically assaulted call the police, |
| you and apologize (somewhat) or berate you even | | | | get out of the relationship and seek safe haven. That |
| more. But the end game is the same. They would | | | | last one is key. The news is filled with stories of |
| not have done what they did if you had not made | | | | abusers who refused to give up their ex. Drunk with |
| them. The abuser does wrong and expertly lays one | | | | power they think it is their right to reclaim what |
| hundred percent of the blame and responsibility for | | | | belongs to them (Yes I said what not who) and in |
| their actions on your shoulders. | | | | many tragic instances they stop at nothing. |
| Unfortunately many victims fall for it. They start | | | | With the verbal abuser, if trying to get them to see |
| believing that it had to be something that they said | | | | the error of their ways does not work then move |
| or did which caused this abuse. They know the other | | | | on and do not wait too long. |
| person loves them. Why? Because they said so. Even | | | | The point is that not only are they wrong in how |
| in the midst of the abuse they stated their love. So it | | | | they treat you but more importantly that you are a |
| must be something you are doing. | | | | person with value, dignity and unique gifts that only |
| Maybe some outside influences also got into the act. | | | | you possess. No one has the right to make you feel |
| Family and friends offered up their opinions. Lo and | | | | any less than that. |