| When the economy dips, domestic violence often | | | | about domestic violence will help other employees |
| increases, sometimes spilling over into the workplace. | | | | and managers alike to understand why the answer is |
| This is the second of two articles on preventing DV | | | | not straightforward.) |
| from hitting your office. | | | | 5. Tell her you don't need to know details she doesn't |
| Why an Employee May Tell You About Domestic | | | | want to tell you, but that you are here to help her |
| Violence | | | | feel as safe and work as effectively as she can. |
| Employees have rights in the workplace when they | | | | - Ask her how you can help. |
| are being abused at home. Laws may differ among | | | | 6. LISTEN. |
| the States; this article reflects New York State | | | | - Be aware that some people may tell you almost |
| policies. In general, however, managers should be | | | | nothing about their personal situation, while others |
| prepared for letters that request special | | | | may release a flood. Everyone is different. |
| accommodation (such as changes in parking space or | | | | - Let her speak at her own pace, but try to look |
| working schedule), and for the conversations they | | | | engaged and caring, even if your natural response is |
| may need to have with the employee. | | | | to pull away and be distant. This conversation is |
| Men or women may be subject to domestic violence; | | | | about her, not about you. |
| most cases, however, involve women. Consequently, | | | | - Answer her questions as clearly and precisely as |
| I refer in this article to the victim as "she". | | | | you can. Do not offer your opinion. |
| Speaking with an Employee about Domestic Violence | | | | - Know where your policy statement or manual |
| What do you say when an employee tells you that | | | | dealing with domestic violence is. Have numbers for |
| she is being abused? | | | | your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and local |
| There are no hard and fast rules, except one: Do not | | | | domestic violence assistance group available. |
| tell the victim what you think she should do to make | | | | If she is alluding vaguely to abuse, you can ask her if |
| her relationship work. She is in that relationship; you | | | | she feels safe at home and at work. You may want |
| are not. | | | | to ask specifically about work factors only: |
| The following general guidelines may facilitate the | | | | - Does her commute, including the walk from the |
| conversation. | | | | parking lot, feel safe? |
| 1. Be there for her. | | | | - Is she receiving phone calls that are frightening or |
| - Have your calls held, and ask not to be disturbed | | | | upsetting? |
| during the conversation. Such a simple request will | | | | - Is she concerned about unwanted visitors? |
| help her feel that you are taking the matter seriously. | | | | You can refer to your policy manual if you have one; |
| 2. Recognize her needs for privacy and safety. | | | | or to a workplace safety plan such as the one found |
| - Confirm that the conversation will remain | | | | the Legal Momentum organization website, or you |
| confidential. And keep it confidential. | | | | can brainstorm solutions together. |
| - If you are a male, ask her if she wants to continue | | | | 7. Affirm that you value her as an employee. Try to |
| the conversation with the door closed but with a | | | | find specific examples of things she has done well |
| friend of her choosing present. She deserves privacy | | | | recently. |
| for the conversation, but does not need the | | | | - This is important, especially if she has been late or |
| threatening feeling of being closed in with another | | | | absent, or her work has been falling off because of |
| man. | | | | the tensions she is experiencing at home. She is |
| - Some offices have glass conference rooms which | | | | almost certainly being criticized or made to feel |
| may be useful for situations such as this. | | | | incompetent; your kind words may help rebuild a |
| 3. Reassure her that she cannot be fired if her | | | | badly shattered self-esteem. |
| partner is abusing her, nor will it change her insurance | | | | 8. Be gracious, not abrupt, in closing. |
| coverage. | | | | - Reiterate that the conversation will remain |
| 4. Assume that she has already given this matter a | | | | confidential. |
| great deal of thought, and tried more techniques | | | | - Remind her that you are available if she needs |
| than you could probably think of. | | | | further information or support, or has any ideas that |
| - Glib comments like "so why don't you leave him" or | | | | will help her be safe and productive. |
| "have you tried couples counseling" are grossly | | | | - Thank her for trusting you with such sensitive |
| inappropriate at this stage. (Educational programs | | | | information. |