| Abused intimate partners do come in all shapes and | | | | least until they return to their abusive partners. |
| sizes, and most definitely there are some themes | | | | So what came first the chicken or the egg? Looking |
| characterizing them. Some people will tell you low | | | | closer, as we have, opens the door for significant |
| self-esteem is one of these characteristics. But what | | | | insight on how to shed the internalized personal |
| came first: the chicken or the egg? | | | | perception of the abusive partner. Doing so gives |
| I would venture to say it could go either way. I see | | | | new life to those once abused. |
| an inordinate number of highly functioning, high-end | | | | If you find yourself becoming what your former |
| professionals, well educated and with a six-figure | | | | partner expected, and in many cases desired, |
| income who are abused by their intimate partners. | | | | recognize the operative conditioning in play. I've heard |
| What I notice is these women and men evidence | | | | people say they became depressed following an |
| "conditioned disassociation." This conditioning is how | | | | encounter with an abuser they recently left. |
| he/she grows to disregard him/herself. | | | | It's noted that the depressed feeling is the "face" put |
| Over time, the abused partner grows to see him | | | | on in the presence of that person as though |
| herself as they are told they are seen by their | | | | reflexively becoming as expected by the former |
| intimate partners. And much approval is received for | | | | partner. And with that down-depressed radiance set |
| this "internalized personal perception." | | | | in the genuine feeling of the blues. |
| But when apart from the abusive partner, these | | | | Reach back for yourself above and beyond the |
| individuals may drop the internalized personal | | | | expectation and desire of the abusive ex-partner. |
| perception and become who they really are. They | | | | You'll be pleasantly surprised and happy you did. |
| are authentic, they are vital, they are themselves at | | | | |