| The decision to divorce is not an easy one and | | | | repeatedly by the abuser that no abuse is taking |
| should not be taken lightly. Especially if there are | | | | place and that it is all "in your head." |
| children involved, the long term impact can be | | | | 2. Untreated addiction. If your spouse has a problem |
| significant on everyone involved. No one goes into a | | | | with drug or alcohol abuse, this can be a very difficult |
| marriage honestly expecting it to fail, but sadly over | | | | situation. You may want to stay and help your |
| half do. Many divorces can be prevented through | | | | partner, but if you cannot detach yourself and stop |
| effort and improved communication between | | | | yourself from "saving" your partner, managing the |
| partners - however, there are some situations that | | | | chaos in their lives due to using substances, and |
| can prove so destructive that leaving the situation | | | | taking responsibility for his or her actions and well |
| might be the best and healthiest option. Here are 3 | | | | being, you will not be helping your partner. Moreover, |
| signs that the marriage may be too damaging to one | | | | you will be neglecting your own needs as a human |
| or both parties to preserve: | | | | being and this will breed resentment over time. You |
| 1. Abuse. If you are being abused in any way, this is | | | | may actually be in danger or impacted in practical |
| very damaging to your self esteem and feelings of | | | | ways as well, from DUI's to financial fallout due to |
| self worth. It can also be extremely dangerous | | | | the addiction, to endangerment of you or the children |
| physically. If you are being physically abused, please | | | | when your partner is under the influence. |
| contact a counselor or a domestic violence shelter | | | | 3. Repeated infidelities. This is a terrible betrayal and |
| right away for help in constructing a safe plan for | | | | leaves a swathe of devastation it its wake. An affair |
| moving forward. Emotional abuse may not leave the | | | | can be survived if both spouses agree to recommit |
| emotional scars that physical abuse cam leave, but it | | | | and devote themselves to improving communication |
| is nevertheless very destructive and painful for the | | | | and accountability, but if the affair(s) are ongoing or |
| victim being controlled and criticized on a constant | | | | compulsive in nature, there is no foundation upon |
| basis undermines self confidence, feelings or | | | | which to rebuild a marriage. You are also endangering |
| capability, and may even cause the victim to question | | | | your health staying with someone who is not |
| his or her own sanity of he or she is being told | | | | monogamous with you. |