| The decision to divorce is not an easy one and | | | | increasingly inferior, incapable, and even crazy. |
| certainly should not be taken lightly. There are many | | | | 2. Your spouse has an active addiction and refuses to |
| considerations to take into account when making a | | | | get help for the problem. This is a very challenging |
| choice like divorce, such as the impact on children, | | | | situation. If your spouse is actively using, it is likely he |
| lifestyle, finances, living arrangements, friends and | | | | or she is not fully available in the relationship, and may |
| family members, and the vision of what you planned | | | | well be doing things that are actively destructive. You |
| your life to be like. However, there are instances | | | | may face legal and financial consequences as result |
| where the behavior of a spouse is so emotionally or | | | | of your spouse's using (DUI's, accidents, etc), and |
| physically destructive that it might be worth | | | | may even face threat to your own safety. You are |
| considering. Here are 3 situations in which divorce | | | | likely to find yourself wanting to manage the various |
| might be an appropriate response to maintain safety | | | | crises and neglect your own needs out of a desire to |
| and well being: | | | | minimize the damage caused by the drug or alcohol |
| 1. There is abuse taking place in the marriage. Physical | | | | use of your partner. |
| abuse is very dangerous and often escalates over | | | | 3. Your spouse cheats on you on an ongoing basis. A |
| time. If you are experiencing physical abuse, please | | | | marriage can survive an affair if both partners are |
| contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor to | | | | willing to recommit and work to increase |
| construct a plan for safe exit. One of the most | | | | communication and accountability. However, if one or |
| dangerous junctures in physically abusive relationships | | | | both spouses continues to cheat, there is no |
| is at the time of leaving. Emotional abuse is | | | | foundation upon which to rebuild the marriage. The |
| extremely damaging over time as well, and | | | | betrayal and pain will not heal and no trust can be |
| sometimes escalates into physical violence. Self | | | | reestablished. The self esteem of the betrayed |
| esteem is destroyed and the victim may feel | | | | spouse is likely to take a serious hit over time. |