| This article is aiming to get you in touch with your | | | | involved.) |
| inner peace again and overcome the difficulties | | | | Are you guys going into a contested or uncontested |
| associated with a divorce. Well I know that sounds | | | | divorce? With my experience a contested divorce |
| crazy. We are so angry with each other right now | | | | tends to be expensive and tends to get ugly and can |
| and at each other's throats at all time, and this article | | | | take up a very long time. (Not good for the kids.) |
| talks about peace. How is that possible? It totally | | | | Sometimes it is necessary because of all the legal |
| depends on you to read this article and try to | | | | aspects regarding custody, financials and so on. That |
| understand that it is very much possible to avoid an | | | | is only if you do not know or have the time for a bit |
| ugly divorce affair, or disregard this and carry on at | | | | of digging and writing out forms. You got together |
| each others throats. | | | | into this marriage, now go out together through this |
| I am not going to try to get you guys back together | | | | divorce. |
| and let you live a happy life ever after. You have | | | | If at all possible I highly recommend an uncontested |
| already made up your minds (well at least one of the | | | | divorce. You can save a lot of money. Yes I know, |
| parties). You probably went the whole yard with | | | | He or she has got so much money, I want it and all |
| marriage councillors and all that jazz. What I am trying | | | | that crap. This is why the first step is so important. |
| to do with this article is to bring you closer to | | | | You owe it to each other, unless you got married in |
| yourself for the sake of one another and most | | | | the first place just for money. Then unfortunately I |
| importantly the children (if any). | | | | cannot help you. Sort it out yourself! An uncontested |
| As we live in a fast pace environment, we tend to | | | | divorce helps people who have commonly decided |
| live past one another, forgetting the first reason why | | | | and agreed on what happens after the divorce. We |
| we got married. Some people wed out of love, some | | | | talking about forgive and forget and move on as |
| for money and some for lust. If you need reminding | | | | friends. |
| why you got married, go and see a marriage | | | | Now another very difficult part. (No one said divorce |
| councillor, or give yourself a chance to make this | | | | is a walk in the park, we trying to find ways to make |
| inevitable divorce easy going. You can save yourself | | | | it easier for everybody.) Are there kids involved? If |
| a lot of money, pain and frustration. | | | | your marriage is heading for the inevitable, after |
| How do we do that? | | | | trying everything to save it, make sure to know the |
| You are going to discuss your divorce with your | | | | kids in the process. Doesn't matter how hard it might |
| X-Partner to be. Well first of all. MAKE PEACE. I am | | | | seem, you have to prepare them for this difficult |
| not saying save your marriage and carry on. What I | | | | time. |
| mean is: Sit down with each other and have a good | | | | How would one do this? |
| old talk. Talk like well behaved humans do, and don't | | | | Keep one thing in mind. This could be more difficult |
| tell me yes but this and that. Ask yourself if you | | | | for the kids than for you or your husband. The after |
| would like to make it easier or not. If it takes | | | | effects could be devastating for your children. It is |
| convincing your X-Partner to be to make peace, then | | | | both the parents' duty to prepare the kids mentally. |
| Do it. | | | | Kids are not stupid, they see, they feel and they |
| What are you going to talk about? Right this is | | | | know when things are not going according to plan so |
| where it gets very interesting. | | | | to speak. This is the weird part. When the kids see |
| How are you guys going to go about settle this ugly | | | | that the two of you are still friends, it will be much |
| thing with no one pulling out the other ones hair? First | | | | easier for them to understand the divorce than when |
| of all, you both know to move on with your life is | | | | the two of you are constantly fighting. Now I know |
| the best thing for both parties, right? | | | | questions from the kids will be like: "But you guys are |
| This does not have to be the most difficult time of | | | | still such good friends, why are you divorcing each |
| your life. With the right information and mental | | | | other?" Wow tough one hey? How do you answer |
| strength, you too can secure yourself a happy life | | | | that? |
| after the divorce. | | | | You both as parents should talk to the kids together, |
| How do you go about the divorce? | | | | not mom alone or dad alone. You must show the |
| You can keep on calling each other names and make | | | | kids that you both care for their well being. At this |
| one another as bad as possible. This will not bring any | | | | stage they will see that both of you are sincere. |
| party in favour with the situation. If there are no kids | | | | See this is why the first step of the divorce is soooo |
| involved, then let it be. Call each other what you like. | | | | important. Remember forgive and forget? This is |
| Let us forget about the legal aspects for a minute. | | | | when you can start to explain to your kids if they |
| Let us be a bit more human, and think about a few | | | | are old enough to understand that, yes you are still |
| things that can make this journey a lot easier. | | | | good friends, but sometimes in ones life you have to |
| Remember, this is not about saving the marriage. | | | | make decisions that is not easy, however you must |
| This is about making the divorce easier. | | | | make them understand that they are still very much |
| First of all: Make peace, make friends and be totally | | | | part of both the parents lives. Do not lie to them! It |
| honest with each other. It doesn't matter how bad | | | | will be hard for them at first, but time does heal and |
| things were. Think about the good things you saw in | | | | it would be much easier for them to see that you |
| each other and forgive your X- Partner to be. It is | | | | are still very much part of their lives. At this point |
| the easiest thing in the world to forgive someone. | | | | also make them aware of the fact that they will be |
| The forgetting part takes a bit longer. Ones you | | | | seeing each one of you on a regular basis. |
| forgave somebody the forgetting is easy to | | | | To conclude this article, which can carry on forever, |
| overcome. You all know you are moving on with | | | | let us focus on step one first. Make peace and |
| your life now, so you might as well do it as friends. | | | | forgive each other. I would not recommend you to |
| Believe me, it just make things so much easier. By | | | | carry on with the divorce unless you have overcome |
| the way, this is the hardest part. The rest are | | | | the first step successfully. |
| formalities which can also be a daunting task, but | | | | My following articles that I will post will focus on |
| much easier done as friends than enemies. | | | | custody of the kids and how to prepare them to |
| Now that you have made peace, and don't tell me | | | | make it easier for them, because they are the ones |
| you can't, because you can. As simple as that. | | | | to look out for. Trust that you found a little insight in |
| You will go about discussing things like: (It is | | | | this article. Remember, Forgiveness is the biggest |
| important to remain calm at this point at all times. | | | | first step in going through a successful divorce. |
| You owe it to yourself your family and all other | | | | Till next time. |