| A common question battered women have when | | | | custody evaluator. |
| preparing for their custody evaluations is how to be | | | | 1) Be yourself, rather than what you think you |
| with the custody evaluator. | | | | "should" be. |
| On the one hand, they long to be natural. They want | | | | 2) Remember this evaluation is about you, not about |
| to tell the evaluator everything that led to their being | | | | your soon-to-be ex. So share what you think is |
| where they are now. They want to make sure he | | | | essential about him, but keep a balanced perspective. |
| she knows about all the abuse they endured and | | | | 3) If you catch yourself being the fearful litigant, shift |
| about the trauma to their children. | | | | your focus to being the loving mom. Your natural |
| And in the telling of all of this, they become that | | | | feelings for your children are your strong suit. Keep it |
| battered person. As they let their hair down, they | | | | on. |
| show their vulnerabilities, their insecurities and the | | | | You are in the fight of your life and it is natural that |
| weaknesses that kept them in an abusive relationship. | | | | this evaluation is the test of your life. If you want to |
| This compromised persona is further compounded by | | | | ace this test, you must remember not to surrender |
| the horrific fear plaguing these women. They are | | | | yourself over to the evaluator. If my words are not |
| taunted with threats of losing custody of, and in | | | | crystal clear to you, seek to find a coach (outside of |
| some cases contact with, their children. | | | | the legal circle) to help you prepare for the trial of |
| If you are this woman or know someone in her | | | | your life. |
| position, here are some tips to help you with the | | | | |