| Divorce is a painful and challenging life transition for | | | | with a counselor or domestic violence shelter as to |
| both spouses. It is a decision that should be made | | | | how to leave. This can be a very dangerous situation |
| with careful consideration of all involved. One of the | | | | for everyone. Even if it is strictly limited to emotional |
| most difficult aspects to consider and assess is the | | | | or psychological abuse, your children are learning that |
| effect a divorce will have on the children. While the | | | | the level of disrespect you are tolerating is |
| loss of the family unit is a painful reality to consider, | | | | acceptable. As they get older they may well learn |
| there are circumstances where the decision to | | | | that this kind of treatment is unacceptable in a |
| divorce may be preferable long term for the well | | | | relationship -- and they may judge you for putting up |
| being of your children. Here are 3 reasons why | | | | with it. Again, your mental energy is focused on |
| divorce may be the most viable option: | | | | maintaining your own sanity and the stability of the |
| 1. Your spouse is actively engaged in addiction | | | | relationship -- leaving your children with less of your |
| behavior and refuses treatment. If your partner is | | | | attention than they need to flourish. |
| engaging in drug and alcohol abuse, and is not in | | | | 3. You are making excuses for staying in the |
| treatment, you will constantly live on the edge. | | | | marriage. The excuses may include finances, fears |
| Unsure of his or her competence to care for the | | | | that your partner may harm or neglect the children if |
| children, and whether consequences will negatively | | | | they get partial custody, or fears that your partner |
| impact the stability of the whole family, your energy | | | | may self destruct and leave the kids without a |
| and time will be spent on managing the damage your | | | | parent if you leave. These are signs of insecurity and |
| partner is wreaking on your family. At the very least, | | | | possibly codependence in you. Legal measures can be |
| this prevents you from being able to invest your full | | | | taken to protect your children, you will find a way to |
| insight and attention onto your children. At worst, | | | | make it on your own when your mind is free of the |
| you children may be neglected or endangered. | | | | constant torment of living with your dysfunctional |
| 2. Your spouse is abusive. Your children are watching | | | | spouse, and if your partner self destructs -- that is |
| all the interactions in your relationship and formulating | | | | not your responsibility. Your children will see you |
| their own concepts of what a relationship looks like. | | | | taking responsibility for yourself and for them, and |
| If you are being physically harmed, you must consult | | | | that is what you want them to learn. |