| When any parent is going through a divorce, it's | | | | of case, if you choose to hire a lawyer at all (I ended |
| always an incredibly difficult time for the family | | | | up defending myself in the final year of my court |
| involved. It's made much harder for everyone, | | | | case). |
| however, when an ex-wife makes a father the | | | | Tip 2: Keep a journal, or two. |
| target of a phony abuse allegation during that | | | | You might be wondering why there's the "two" in |
| process. And this is an increasingly-common divorce | | | | this tip. I'll explain, because it's one of the best tips |
| scenario. | | | | you'll ever be given about how to fight a restraining |
| There are many reasons why a mother might decide | | | | order. |
| to punish the father of her kids in this way, but the | | | | The first journal is for practical reasons. Keep a |
| main one is that: whilst a father is trying to figure out | | | | journal of the dates, times, witnesses and location of |
| how to fight a restraining order, it's likely that he'll | | | | any incident or communication that may influence |
| make a mistake in the general custody court case. Or | | | | your defense. Keep it factual and to the point. |
| run out of funds trying to defend himself on two | | | | Fighting a restraining order isn't about fighting dirty, |
| fronts. Or simply cave from the pressure of it all. | | | | it's about playing within the rules and being as smart |
| This article has been written to explain to you one | | | | as your ex. If she calls to demand maintenance |
| important fact, and it's one that you should be clear | | | | payments after filing the restraining order, log it, |
| on: | | | | report it, use it as evidence - she can't be "in fear of |
| Tens of thousands of American fathers are fighting a | | | | harm" if she insists on hassling you for more money, |
| restraining order every year. And every year, tens of | | | | can she? |
| thousands of them win custody of their children. | | | | The second journal is for your own purposes. I found |
| I'm going to give you some practical tips that helped | | | | it helpful to write down some thoughts about the |
| me win custody of my son when I was fighting a | | | | case when I was fighting a restraining order, and it |
| restraining order, so that you can learn from my | | | | helped to alleviate some of the anger and frustration |
| experience during your own legal struggle. | | | | I felt. |
| Tip 1: An expensive lawyer isn't always a good | | | | REMEMBER, though, that if your ex ever finds out |
| enough defense. | | | | about the journal that it could be subpoenaed by the |
| When I started out fighting a restraining order during | | | | court as evidence by her - so make sure you keep it |
| my divorce, I was in the lucky position that I just | | | | safe. You should also begin every journal entry with |
| went with the first available family lawyer I could find | | | | the following words so that so that the record |
| without having to worry too much about the costs. | | | | becomes "privileged communication" and isn't |
| But even I was shocked when I saw some of the | | | | acceptable for your ex to call for in court. |
| invoices coming through, because the service I | | | | "To My Attorney, [his or her name]" |
| received was terrible. | | | | Tip 3: Never give up hope. |
| My lawyer failed to explain some very important | | | | Your kids will only ever grow up once, and they are |
| facts about the way family divorce cases are | | | | relying on you to make the right moves so that you |
| handled by the system when it comes to fighting a | | | | can be there for them. You CAN win, and fighting a |
| restraining order at the same time - and throwing | | | | restraining order and false protection orders just |
| more money at him or her isn't going to give them | | | | takes time and patience - persistence is the key to |
| the experience the case needs. Make sure you get | | | | winning custody of your children. |
| someone with specific knowledge about your type | | | | |