| Part of the glue that binds abusive relationships is the | | | | While all along you have been assuming your Job is to |
| victim's sense of perceived responsibility within the | | | | weather it and/or fix it, the truth of the matter is |
| relationship. And battered men are as guilty in the | | | | you can't. Over time you will see that subjecting |
| responsibility department as are battered women. | | | | yourself to ongoing battering from your spouse or |
| For the Abused Man | | | | girlfriend will net you inner destruction. |
| You have to endure all and be the strongest all the | | | | This kind of stress doesn't make you stronger; to |
| time, even in the face of your greatest weakness. | | | | the contrary, it depletes you of your inner resources |
| And you think you must draw from this strength the | | | | and compromises your psychological integrity from |
| resources to fix everything. | | | | the inside out. |
| You wear a face of competency, potency and | | | | Your perceived ability to "fix" it is also a myth. You |
| mastery of your environment. Now since failure and | | | | cannot fix what is not yours. Battering is owned, |
| inadequacy are not viable outcomes, you have to | | | | operated and controlled by the batterer and no one |
| endure all forms of injustice and abusive humiliation. | | | | else. |
| Suffer in Silence Syndrome | | | | The only real responsibility you have in your abusive |
| You tell yourself your "Job" is to stand here and take | | | | relationship is to yourself. You must ask yourself, |
| it... the verbal licks, emotional manipulations, flying | | | | what do you need to secure your safety and your |
| cups... out of control aggression, from kicks to spit. | | | | personal well-being in this unpredictable destructive |
| You believe you must withstand the "macho ethic," | | | | environment. |
| which says stand here and take it. It's the "suffer in | | | | The moment you relinquish responsibility to and for |
| silence" syndrome. | | | | her battering behavior, a window of options open up |
| Macho men don't hit women-regardless of what she | | | | for you to pursue. These new directions can lead you |
| does to you. And therefore, you are stuck. You are | | | | back to rekindling the wholeness and happiness that |
| entrapped in a nightmare of domestic abuse. | | | | awaits you. It's your "Job" to make this happen. It's |
| Real Responsibility of the Macho Man | | | | all up to you! |