| Shame is part and parcel to any experience that you | | | | marriage, yet you feel powerless and ineffectual in |
| indulge or endure, wherein you think others would | | | | your ability to make things different. |
| think less of you if they only knew. It's the pervasive | | | | Your shame helps you keep this whole mess in-not |
| feeling for battered men in abusive relationships. | | | | to be noticed by those on the outside. And this |
| It's the feeling underlying the thought: | | | | blanket of shame, while it does indeed keep your |
| - If your business associates knew what you put up | | | | embarrassment private, it also has a huge price. It |
| with at home... | | | | keeps you feeling totally alone. |
| - If your friends knew how your wife emasculates | | | | You think that you will be stigmatized by society |
| you... | | | | when you show your hand. And there may have |
| -If your neighbors understood what happens behind | | | | even been an occasion when the heat blew through |
| your closed doors... | | | | the roof at home and you dialed 911. Little do you |
| Here you are weighing in at 50 to 100 pounds more | | | | know that the boys in the blue would laugh at you in |
| than this "frail" woman whom you are financially | | | | disbelief when you spoke of being beaten up by your |
| supporting. You are probably 4 to 12 inches taller than | | | | wife. |
| she. You may even be more educated and the only | | | | It's no wonder that shame stays with you and colors |
| one in the family holding down a "real" job. | | | | your day. Shame keeps you safe from society |
| Yet, when you are in the privacy of your own home, | | | | stigmatizing you with being a battered man in your |
| you are the subservient spouse coming up short on | | | | own home by a woman half your size. |
| the power stick. That is if you have any power at all. | | | | When you muster the courage to shatter the shield |
| In many cases you may only have the "power" | | | | of shame and find the right help for your |
| awarded you so as to keep you doing and being as | | | | predicament, you open the door to break the cycle |
| your abusive wife requires. | | | | of intimate partner abuse in your life. This is the |
| You hate being bullied by a woman. The emotional | | | | ultimate power that you hold in your abusive |
| and verbal abuse taunts you in the quite moments of | | | | relationship. |
| your day. You know something is "wrong" with your | | | | |