Battered and Abused Men - Domestic Violence is Genderless

Some battered women take objection to the idea ofpositioning in a relationship wherein one party
helping abused men as though this poses a conflict ofestablishes and maintains an unequal distribution of
professional commitments. However, I see itpower within the relationship.
differently.Battered Men as Victims of Domestic Violence
In my own practice of helping battered women, I'mMen in abusive relationships are victimized just as
keenly aware that many of the male abusers thatfemale abuse victims. They are verbally abused,
they are entangled with were raised by controllingemotionally abused and in some cases they are also
abusive mothers.physically abused.
My belief is that if we are to end domestic abuse, itThe battering that they endure is the controlling
is our professional responsibility to address intimatefemale's effort to keep them in a subservient
partner violence in all of its forms, including that ofposition, one of being under her thumb. And the
female batterers as well as male batterers.brutality that they come to know carries emotional
Domestic Abuse Is a Human, Genderless Relationshipscars just as it does for women abused by their
Conditionmale partners.
Abuse is fundamentally about control. Violence mayThese abused men experience all of the same
be a manifestation of domestic abuse, but domesticpsychological consequences as battered women in
violence is fundamentally about control.abusive relationships. They lose contact with their
This control can take the form of dictating anotherown inner voice through the conditioning
person's decision-making, failing to factor in the rightscharacteristic of abusive relationships.
and liberties of the unempowered party and, moreThey harbor shame and guilt, loss of self-worthiness,
obviously, regulating multiple areas of a couplesand psychological disassociation with their essential
mutual personal lives.core.
Women are as capable as men in assuming thisThey adapt to the implied rules of domination and
domineering/controlling role in a relationship. Evencontrol within the relationship. And ultimately they
though traditionally one expects the controlling partygrow to resent their enslavement and self-imposed
to be the physically larger person and the sociallyentrapment.
endorsed "man" of the house, women wear theseIf you are an abused man or know of a man
pants just as do men.victimized in an abusive relationship, seek to break
Domestic abuse is genderless. It's more aboutthe cycle of abuse before it spirals out of control.