| An abusive relationship can mean more than being hit | | | | scours the phone bill for unauthorized calls |
| by the person who claims to love or care about | | | | • Can be hurtful and obnoxious one minute, |
| you. Emotional and psychological abuse, while not | | | | repentant and charming the next. |
| requiring hospital visits, can be as devastating as | | | | Your family or friends who are aware of your |
| actual physical violence. Many survivors find that | | | | problem, most likely ask you "Why don't you just |
| emotional abuse is difficult to talk about and they | | | | leave?' The reality is, as I am sure you are aware, |
| often wonder if it is even serious because it isn't | | | | that there are many barriers to finding safety in an |
| visible, like bruises or broken bones. Verbal and | | | | abusive relationship. Leaving can sometimes be |
| emotional abuse often takes place in private, where | | | | dangerous and there are many factors that an |
| the abuser becomes a totally different person to the | | | | abusive partner can use to keep the victim from |
| one in the public eye. | | | | leaving the relationship. If you are being abused by |
| Be aware that Verbal abuse often escalates into | | | | your partner, you are more than likely feeling |
| physical abuse, starting with ‘accidental' shoves, | | | | confused, afraid, angry and trapped. All these |
| pushes and bumps as your partner attempts to | | | | emotions are quite normal. You may even blame |
| ‘control' you. If your relationship drains your | | | | yourself for what is happening. BUT, no matter |
| self-esteem, isolates you, ‘grinds' you down, | | | | what others might say, you are never responsible for |
| feels like a prison more than love, then it is likely that | | | | your partner's abusive actions – it is always their |
| you are in an abusive relationship. | | | | choice to be abusive! |
| If your partner does any of the following, they | | | | The most important key to stopping this abuse is to |
| should be ‘red flags' that you have a problem: | | | | recognize the verbal/emotional abuse that is being |
| • Blames you for his/her moods, failures and | | | | perpetrated against you, and only then can you start |
| missed opportunities | | | | to take steps to stop it and bring healing to your |
| • ‘Railroads' conversations. You can't | | | | relationship. The reason why it is important for you |
| discuss your concerns for fear of things getting out | | | | to recognize the signs is because the abuser is |
| of hand. | | | | normally in denial and therefore the responsibility for |
| • Gives you no time to think, believing they | | | | putting a stop to the abuse normally rests with you. |
| already know everything about the way you think or | | | | Please don't ignore the warning signs - they can very |
| feel | | | | quickly escalate to physical harm. No matter what it |
| • Criticizes, humiliates and undermines and ridicules | | | | takes, you need to talk out. Get help from a |
| you, your family or friends. This is usually done in | | | | counselor, your pastor, a trusted friend – there |
| private but sometimes not. You become afraid of | | | | are many people out there to help. You could start |
| the person you are meant to love. | | | | by CLICKING ON THIS LINK and signing up for the |
| • Keeps you ‘in line' by withholding money, | | | | free 6 part mini course, which will help you |
| the car, your phone or internet access. | | | | understand and overcome these problems in your |
| • Has stolen from you and run up debt in your | | | | relationship. Please do it now before it is too late |
| name | | | | – you really have nothing to lose – Save my |
| • Opens, reads and even destroys your mail and | | | | Marriage now. |