| Warning! This article will either turn you upside down | | | | On the other hand, if we know what we are dealing |
| or be the angel that keeps you on your feet, or | | | | with, we are in a much better position to effect |
| both. | | | | change in our intimate relationship and maintain |
| Each time I go into a chat room on the Internet, in | | | | long-term protection of our lives, our health and our |
| which the topic is abusive relationships, I hear the | | | | children. |
| question: "My boyfriend pushes me to the wall and | | | | If you are questioning this prediction, turn on 48 |
| braces me there. Is this cause to end it?" "My | | | | Hours and you will see before you have watched |
| partner's verbal and emotional abuse are debilitating | | | | three programs in a row, one will be on intimate |
| and I don't know how to process it." "How do you | | | | partner homicide or some scenario related to the |
| know when it has gone too far?" | | | | other unfortunate outcomes I've suggested. And the |
| When you are in this situation, these are the most | | | | investigative reporters will be questioning: what made |
| important questions to your future. Because once | | | | him/her do that? |
| answered, you are in control and better able to | | | | Bite the bullet and ask the most important question |
| protect yourself. | | | | of your life: "Is this abuse?" And get the answer so |
| So how do you know if you are in a dangerous | | | | you can best protect your life as you know it, your |
| relationship? That's a common question and | | | | health as you have it, your family, your home, your |
| surprisingly a question that 90% of all people in | | | | job, your savings...yourself. |
| audiences that I address have no answer for. | | | | Now the question is on the table and you may |
| Think about it, where in life do you get lessons on | | | | discover that the abuse specialists tell you one thing, |
| what is intimate partner violence? Unfortunately, | | | | the mental health professionals tell you another and |
| most people who know what it is have learned the | | | | law enforcement something else. So what is |
| hard way. You can learn the easier way. You can be | | | | domestic abuse? When is it dangerous? Don't drop |
| informed: what is the abuse dynamic and what are | | | | the question. Your answer is within. |
| your options, while you still have them. | | | | And if you recoil from posing the question even |
| Now once we ask the question, then there is the | | | | though it is on your mind, than ask yourself why you |
| ramification of considering it and, of course, the | | | | chose not to know. That is as good a starting point |
| implications of the answer-none of which most | | | | as any. |
| people asking want to entertain. However, the | | | | You are the author of your own destiny. You are the |
| alternative of not asking and not knowing what we | | | | scientist of your own investigation. It is your life and |
| are dealing with is so much greater than you would | | | | the answers are for you to know. They are within. |
| want to imagine. | | | | ©Copyright 2007 Dr. Jeanne King Consultants, |
| When we keep our heads in the sand, hoping all will | | | | LLC All Rights Reserved. |
| be well, we make it worse. When we keep our | | | | This article is available for reprint so long as the |
| blinders on, we give ourselves by default three | | | | author's copyright, bio byline and contact URLs are |
| options: lose your life, lose your health and/or lose | | | | included. |
| your children. | | | | |