| For fathers fighting a restraining order as part of a | | | | not named as a party to the order case (normally a |
| custody battle, the fact that they are fighting a | | | | police officer or county sheriff) |
| restraining order often comes as a complete surprise | | | | All this sounds like the answer to "how to fight a |
| - the first idea they have of what's happened is | | | | restraining order" might be: ignore it. Unfortunately, |
| when paperwork is served to them, when they're | | | | the situation isn't that simple. The defendant (you!) |
| warned not to go within a certain distance of their | | | | does NOT have to accept the paperwork to |
| angry ex and/or their kids. | | | | consider as having been "served" the order. But, |
| The reason these dads aren't aware of what's | | | | significantly: |
| happened until that point is that a restraining order | | | | The only proof that the court needs is a signature |
| can be issued "ex parte", which means that the | | | | from the server to confirm proof of service. |
| plaintiff (your ex) feels at risk of harm and can | | | | It's a dangerous tactic to consider avoidance as a |
| request the order without you having to be in court. | | | | tactic to fight a restraining order for other reasons, |
| These orders are often called "ex parte" orders | | | | even if you could successfully avoid the court's |
| because of this. It's only afterwards that you are | | | | decision that it has been legally filed. |
| officially notified, and once the court has received | | | | Essentially, if a father has been accused of abuse, |
| confirmation that you've been served, it will confirm | | | | domestic violence or other phony allegations, judges |
| that the second hearing will take place - that's the | | | | will see any objection to fighting a restraining order |
| one where you can defend yourself and stop it | | | | legitimately (through the court process) as a sign of |
| becoming a permanent order. | | | | proof that the accusations are true. If there's one |
| There is an important factor to all of this, however - | | | | thing you don't want to do, it's make a judge think |
| and that is: you cannot violate a restraining order's | | | | that the reason you refuse to appear in court is that |
| terms if you have not yet been served. If you | | | | you haven't any real defense (rather than the truth - |
| haven't been served an order, it can't become | | | | that the allegations are completely without merit). |
| permanent at any later court date. | | | | Basically, by ignoring or avoiding the restraining order, |
| The paperwork needs to be delivered to you in | | | | it makes you appear guilty. |
| person, and it will contain several elements: | | | | Every year, lots of fathers start to figure out how |
| - the date and time of the second hearing (which will | | | | to fight a restraining order which has been based on |
| be your first!) | | | | phony allegations. If you are one of them, the only |
| - information on the terms of the restraining order, | | | | way forward is to accept the restraining order when |
| for example, details of what its location restrictions | | | | it's being served, and prepare your defense for court. |
| are (within 100 yards? 500?) | | | | It's the best way you can guarantee to win custody |
| - copies of any documents that the plaintiff filed with | | | | of your kids during a divorce case being handled in |
| the court to support the request | | | | such a sly and tactical way. Just remember that |
| - it will have been served at least 5 days before the | | | | thousands of American dads are winning their cases |
| permanent hearing | | | | every year - and you can too. |
| - they can be delivered by anyone who is over 18 | | | | |