| Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are sadly linked with | | | | Some men can change; some men can learn with |
| domestic violence. Alcoholics are more likely to batter | | | | professional help how to live without violence, others |
| their wives (and husbands, but most family violence is | | | | cannot. Even with therapy for the violence, should |
| perpetrated by men) and they are more likely to | | | | you stay? Most professionals would argue that you |
| batter while intoxicated. | | | | shouldn't and that the risks of future violence and |
| So if they stop drinking, if they can get help for their | | | | your right to live without fear supersedes all else. |
| substance abuse problems, will the battery stop? | | | | One thing that you can be certain of is that without |
| Unfortunately, it probably won't. | | | | therapy, he will never stop the battery. Men who |
| One very telling statistic is that although many violent | | | | show a pattern of family violence will not stop |
| abusers will batter more often while drunk, most will | | | | without help; no matter what they say, no matter |
| also sometimes batter while sober. Often they will | | | | how sorry they are and even if they do stop |
| use intoxication as an excuse or a justification for the | | | | drinking, it will happen again. |
| violence, but since they also beat their wives while | | | | If you or a loved one is in a situation of family |
| they are sober, we know that alcohol does not | | | | violence, and the abuser is unwilling to get |
| cause the violence. We also know that since alcohol | | | | professional help to better their violent and abusive |
| doesn't cause the violence, simply eliminating alcohol | | | | tendencies, there is no real option other than to get |
| from the equation will also not eliminate the violence. | | | | out and get safe. You have to take care of yourself |
| If a violent abuser promises to get help for their | | | | and your children first, and although it's never an easy |
| alcohol abuse, this is a good thing and a step | | | | decision, know that they won't stop, know that it will |
| forward, but it is not a solution in itself. To truly | | | | probably get worse, and know that you can't change |
| better the family situation, men will need therapy | | | | them. |
| both to eliminate the substance abuse and also to | | | | If you need help, do a Google search for "domestic |
| work on anger management and self control. Without | | | | violence and your city or county" to get information |
| getting some pretty intensive domestic abuse | | | | about local and safe options, and to get some 1800 |
| therapy, they are not at all likely to change for the | | | | numbers where you can call for good local advice. |
| better. | | | | |