| Common thinking is that domestic violence is a | | | | deadly than for others who are battered. |
| misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear | | | | They know their financial privilege is part of their |
| about them more, we see more of them, we have | | | | problem and realize their abusive partner has an |
| public services to care for their needs...but that | | | | endless army to draw upon to maintain control. Often |
| doesn't make them in the majority when it comes to | | | | times, this is the primary reason they stay in the |
| domestic abuse. | | | | abusive relationship. |
| I would venture to say that we are looking at a | | | | The Risk of Leaving an Abusive Relationship for |
| relative representation of the population; not a | | | | Battered Queens |
| socio-economic indicator of domestic abuse. | | | | Their exits pose extreme risks to themselves and to |
| Would you know a battered queen if you saw one? | | | | their children because there is much fuel to feed |
| Moreover, would you recognize yourself as one if | | | | many extensions of the abuser. So on the way out, |
| that were indeed the case? | | | | the abuse can-and more often than not-multiply |
| Who Are the Battered Queens? | | | | exponentially overnight. Many are buried in, and by, |
| Battered queens come in all shapes and sizes. They | | | | the ordeal. |
| can be doctors, lawyers, movie stars, financial | | | | For some there is an inward comfort in knowing that |
| experts.... They may be stay at home moms who | | | | their abuser is preoccupied with abusing them through |
| drive a Mercedes, manage multiple household | | | | the courts, rather than taking matters into the |
| employees and spend as much on an outfit as most | | | | streets. The damage they sustain by virtue of their |
| people spend on a season's wardrobe. | | | | expensive exit out from the abusive relationship can |
| Spending the family money is often their punishment | | | | be equally devastating. |
| to their abuser for physical battery, assault and | | | | Ray of Hope for Battered Queens |
| spousal emotional abuse. It's one of their | | | | If you are a battered queen, know you are not |
| contributions to the cycle of abuse. They love it and | | | | alone. There are services for you, though they will be |
| they hate it, at the same time. | | | | diamonds in the rough. Further, know you can use |
| They are usually in the largest and most tightly | | | | your family privilege to aid in your survival if you play |
| sealed closet, and they represent the biggest | | | | your hand wisely. Lastly don't give up on yourself or |
| elephants under the carpet. Why? Because the | | | | on the possibility of breaking-free with your life, |
| implications of their "coming out" can be far more | | | | liberties and integrity in tack. |