| Adult survivors of childhood emotional abuse may | | | | (whether it's someone physically in your life, or only in |
| have spent long years thinking all kinds of negative | | | | your head), you are reinforcing the pattern of |
| things about themselves: "I'm not supposed to be | | | | attracting abusers into your life. |
| here," "I'm worthless," "I don't deserve to be happy | | | | So why do we give our abuser so much power? We |
| or successful or liked"...because that's what these | | | | cannot control other people. We cannot change the |
| victims were told by those whose authority they | | | | past. But we can control our thoughts and change |
| respected. | | | | ourselves. No, you can't just stop thinking those |
| They may have attracted a series of abusers into | | | | thoughts. We know nature abhors a vacuum, and |
| their lives over the years, who've only reinforced the | | | | that includes your mind. You'll need to replace those |
| negative messages of the original abuser. It's likely | | | | thoughts with better ones. |
| that the victim still has an abuser in his or her life, | | | | Positive self-talk works on the theory of |
| whether parent, spouse, significant other, or lesser | | | | displacement. It's like when you hold a glass of dirty |
| player. And that negative self-image is reinforced, | | | | water under a clean faucet, and eventually all the |
| layer upon layer. | | | | dirty water is displaced by clean water. At no time, |
| As a result, the internal conversation going on in your | | | | however, is the glass empty. Every time a negative |
| head often consists of all kinds of negative self-talk. | | | | thought enters your mind, quickly replace it with a |
| Self-criticism, second-guessing decisions, and endlessly | | | | positive one. Eventually there will be no room for |
| replaying remembered, imagined, and anticipated ugly | | | | negative thoughts. And you will attract positive |
| interactions with the abuser(s). | | | | thoughts and experiences and people to you. |
| Unfortunately, however, filling your head with | | | | Never blame anyone or anything else for your |
| negative thoughts attracts more negativity to you. If | | | | circumstances. When you do, you give away your |
| and when you do become free of this abuser | | | | power. Don't. |