| While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or | | | | The Importance of the Subtle Signs in Shining the |
| broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is | | | | Light on Abusive Relationships |
| living in an abusive relationship, these are not always | | | | It's the little things that happen daily that are utterly |
| the clues that inspire the abused to leave. | | | | convincing because they simply cannot be denied. |
| As human beings we have an enormous capacity to | | | | You see these little things, the subtle signs, are ever |
| whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to | | | | so pervasive. They are in one's face 24/7. How can |
| compartmentalize our pain. It is our psychological | | | | you deny something that you stumble upon daily or |
| coping procedure that in many respects helps us | | | | even weekly? |
| manage distress and keeps us sane. | | | | In working with people in abusive relationships over |
| So when your daughter or son puts a blanket of | | | | the years, I have found that as I help them identify |
| denial around the import of an assault, or a bucket of | | | | the subtle signs of their own abusive relationship the |
| ridiculous rationalization around the last relationship | | | | light turns itself on glaring them in the eyes. |
| blowout, realize the mechanism in play here. If your | | | | Look to the subtle communication patterns of |
| goal is to have your daughter or son see the light of | | | | intimate partner violence should you wish to shine the |
| the danger they live, instead look to the subtle to | | | | light on an abusive relationship that you suspect, or |
| open eyes. | | | | even know, your adult child to live. |